Friendship, Redux

14

I have logged off of Facebook, until February 1.  (This post will be published on that site, though I won’t be there to respond to any comments that are posted.  Other posts I put on WordPress, for the rest of January, will not be shared on Facebook.)

Now, as to why.  Well, there are two reasons, both stemming from the same, seemingly innocuous incident.  A longtime friend asked for my input on something.  As I was pre-occupied with something that seemed to me to be terribly earthshaking at the time, I made an offhand reply.  To make a long story short, my response was not what this friend wanted, and thus ended a previously good friendship.   Baha’u’llah teaches, “The foundation of all relationships is trust.”  As this person no longer felt that I was trustworthy, the relationship was done.  This, in turn, led to my feeling that, for the time being, there really was no point to my staying on that social media site, and I am on hiatus.  The only reason I have not deactivated my account on Facebook is that there are 524 other friends and relatives, whom I also care about deeply- and with whom I want eventually to reconnect.  Thus, I will go back on February 1.

Now, for the second reason I am on hiatus.  Baha’u’llah also teaches us, “O EMIGRANTS!  The tongue I have designed for the mention of Me, defile it not with detraction.  If the fire of self overcome you, remember your own faults and not the faults of My creatures, inasmuch as every one of you knoweth his own self better than he knoweth others.” – Baha’u’llah, The Hidden Words, from the Persian.   I know my own heart.  I know that, at no time did  I ever wish ill towards this person.  At no time did I ever regard my friend’s problems or issues in a lighthearted or offhand manner.  It’s not whom I am.

Each one of us approaches life differently.  So, it stands to reason that a better way to understand someone is to ask what is his/her perspective, rather than to tell him/her what their thoughts, feelings, motives are.   I’ve had people tell me, “You’re abasing yourself online.  Stop it!”  From others, “You’re a horrible person, and no friend at all!”   Everyone’s idea, or concept, of a friend is different.  I can only say how I see it.  Others are entitled to their views.  To me, though:

  1.  A friend listens.
  2. A friend defers attention, when there is something pressing that intervenes.
  3. A friend does not let assumptions get in the way of friendship.
  4. A friend does not let pain, whether his or the other’s, destroy a friendship.
  5. A friend forgives, while expecting the injuring one to overcome that which led him/her to do the hurt.
  6. A friend picks up where the friendship left off.
  7. A friend says “No”, where “Yes” would be easier, but not beneficial.
  8. A friend calls those he loves to a higher level of discourse.
  9. A friend is forever.                                                                                                                                                                    Those who read this, you remain in my heart, and yes, if I hear that you are in distress, I will do all I can to help.  This is not because I am better, or “more noble”, but because we are both human.

More than Man Caves

6

I have wanted to visit Arizona’s largest known publicly-accessible caverns, located nine miles south of Benson, for several years now.  A few days ago, tickets to the two tour routes were purchased and I set aside Saturday, Jan. 4, as my Cave Man day.

After a pleasant night’s rest at Quarterhorse Motel, and a hearty breakfast at the Farm House Restaurant, I headed down the short stretch of U.S. 83.

I pulled into the gate, showed my ticket receipt and went to the Discovery Center, to get my actual tickets, which are collected by the tour guide and reused by many visitors.  I was unable to take my camera or cell phone with me, into the caverns, so my own photos are of the Whetstone Mountains, which serve as the roof of  Kartchner Caverns.

SAM_7779
SAM_7780

To the east, one can see the San Pedro River valley, southern Arizona’s most active riparian system.

SAM_7782

While I wasn’t able to take my own photos of the caverns, the Park itself graciously posts several, on Google.  Here are three  representative scenes.

Soda Straw Stalactites are made from the mineral deposits of  a single drop of water, suspending over time.

Kartchner caverns-1

^ @Copyright Arizona State Parks

Below is a drapery, which is a horizontal, rectangular mineral deposit.  This is called bacon drapery, for obvious reasons.

Kartchner Caverns-2

Finally, we see Kublai Khan, a stalagmite, named for the Mongol Emperor of China, celebrated in verse by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.  This formation, found in the Throne Room, is the centerpiece of a delightful laser-light show, at the end of the Throne Room tour.

Kartchner Caverns

^ @ Copyright Arizona State Parks

I also toured the Big Room, in the afternoon.  This room is closed, from May-October, as large colonies of bats roost here then, whilst giving birth and nursing their young.

Kartchner Caverns- Big Room

^ @ Copyright, GoCalifornia.com

The staff goes to great lengths to keep human oils, peeling skin and hair, as well as clothing lint, from getting in the cavern formations.  Visitors stay on a paved pathway, there are drain cups all along the paths in the caves and no animals are allowed in the caverns.

Ironically, the first exhibit that greets us, in the Discovery Center, is that of a Shasta Ground Sloth, one of the smaller ground sloths of Pleistocene North America.  The remains of one such sloth were found inside Kartchner, when the first two known explorers, Gary Tenen and Randy Tufts entered the caverns, in 1974.  A dead coyote was later found in the caverns.  These finds suggest an earlier passageway into the caverns, perhaps from Guindani Wash, which flows through the area, seasonally.

The Caverns, as mentioned earlier, are surrounded by the Whetstone Mountains, largely comprised of gray chert, which resembles the stone used in sharpening blades.  These small mountains may be explored further, by way of Foothills Loop Trail (2.5 miles) and the Guindani Trail (4.2 miles).  These two trails may be areas I explore later.  For Saturday, the caverns were more than enough to occupy my attention.

Tucson’s Seven Falls- Part 3

4

Reaching the turning point of any journey is nearly always fulfilling- and last Friday’s arrival at the Falls was no exception.  Getting up and in there is ALL the fun.

SAM_7755

There are three falls that are accessible to the casual hiker.  I imagine the rock climbers could manage to get permits to go down to the upper four cascades, but I was glad just to have a bear’s eye view to the top.

I spent about ten minutes examining the first cascade, and its pools- both the feeder and receiver.

SAM_7756
SAM_7761
SAM_7762

Climbing up a short ledge to Cascade # 2, we find this:

SAM_7763
SAM_7764
SAM_7765

Going up to Falls # 3 is a slight alley-oop, through a safe rock ledge, to the left of the creek flow.

SAM_7767
SAM_7766

There is a small beach here, at the hiker’s terminus.  I always count myself fortunate to find others at these sorts of places, so that I may take a photo of them as a couple or, as with the other day, a group of three.  I’m always glad to get a record of my own visit, in kind.

SAM_7770

Looking backwards, I feel blessed by the power of water.  For me, a child of fire, that’s huge.

SAM_7768
SAM_7769

Going down the trail, back towards Sabino Visitor Center, I was  always reminded that it has been a work in progress to keep this sacred spot in the state that it was known to the ancient Sonorans.

SAM_7772

The first people here made their marks, but no doubt found the passage to the top of the ridge as formidable as we do.

SAM_7773

I got a nice warning from Mr. Sun that our time together in this breathtaking canyon was getting short.  The flashlight in my day pack wasn’t too fazed.

SAM_7777

Besides, this is another place where I was being closely watched and guided.

SAM_7778

These Seven Falls, in a dryer climate and lower in elevation than their Colorado counterparts, nonetheless inspire, comfort and reassure- just as much as the falls to the north.

Tucson’s Seven Falls- Part 2, Upper Bear Canyon

2

The upper part of Bear Canyon features the last two creek crossings, then takes one up a moderate switchback and along a ledge trail, for the 2/3 mile remaining to Seven Falls themselves.  I found a few families returning from the Falls and at least one hiker looking exhausted.  Somehow, though, I did not get the feeling I was about to share his fate.

SAM_7736
SAM_7743
SAM_7745
SAM_7746

The striations on the boulders increase with the level of water activity, indicating heavier mineral deposits upstream.

SAM_7747

Here is a look westward, back at Bear Canyon.

SAM_7748

The wispy cloud rising up reminded me of Penny.  There has not been a time that she has been more missed than right now.

SAM_7751

Heart-shaped rocks always seem to pop up, when I start to get a bit down-hearted.  Guess it’s a message that I can get  over whatever is weighing me down.  This lovely canyon was just the right place, on that day.

SAM_7752

Next:  Seven Falls themselves

Tucson’s Seven Falls- Part 1, Lower Bear Canyon

2

I had the pleasure, on Friday of  this past week, of hiking the eight mile round trip, between Sabino Canyon Visitor Center and Seven Falls, in the Santa Catalina Range, northeast of Tucson.  Bear Canyon Trail provides a generally easy path, for the first 2.5 miles,then  7 crossings of Bear Canyon Creek, which are quite straightforward, and have MOSTLY stable steppingstones.  A walking stick, or two, are advisable for the stream crossings, though.  Here are some views of the first 2.5 miles, including a heart-shaped rock.

SAM_7695

 

Bridge crossing Sabino Creek.

SAM_7698

The trail to Bear Canyon diverges from Phone Line Trail here.

 

SAM_7703

 

Note the striations on the rocks, which result from centuries of hard water activity.

 

SAM_7706

 

Here are several shots of Bear Canyon Creek.

 

SAM_7709

 

SAM_7710

 

SAM_7714

 

SAM_7716

 

SAM_7718

 

SAM_7723

 

SAM_7727

 

SAM_7729

 

SAM_7733

 

There are some interesting rock overhangs, and the long view to the canyon rim, along the way.

SAM_7721

 

SAM_7712

 

 

Next, Upper Bear Canyon

Relationships, 2.0

4

I’ve talked about relationships, around these parts, ad nauseam- most recently, last summer.  The reader may expect no confessional drivel this time.  I want to look at two things, in this post:  Expectations and delivery.

This piece focuses on adult relationships.  Teens are pretty good at working out their own bugs, and besides, none of them have asked my opinion lately, anyway.  Come to think of it, NO ONE has asked my opinion lately.  A friend asked me for some Viagra, not long ago, but I’ve never used the stuff- and the only part of me that even used lubrication recently was my car.

Well, back to the stuff of life.  When I was a tumbleweed seeking rootedness, about 40 years ago, I would fuss and fume at any girl who didn’t immediately recognize my awesomeness, from ten miles away.  That just made the ladies and their friends laugh that much louder.

Relationships now, are more balanced.  One has to start with one’s relationship with self.  I have come to the conclusion that I would be a positive addition to many people’s circles of friends.  I am comfortable being in this house, alone, for days on end- when need be.  That really has to happen first; otherwise, the Nuisance Meter starts catterwhaulin’ and wailing, about the time one gets done with the morning shave.

Next is what does one expect, when leaving the house in the morning.  There  is no one in my neighbourhood with whom I  have any sort of romantic attachment.  Yet, greeting each of my neighbours with a smile and politely, sincerely, answering their queries, is the foundation to a good, worthwhile day.

Among the inhabitants of this town, there are many attractive women.  I’ve managed to become something of a friend to one of them, and am glad of her company and good graces.  This leads me to the crux of the matter.  Adult relationships, at any level, from social friendship to commitment, start with RESPECT: Respect for space, respect for time, respect for beliefs, respect for person.  Aretha started that whole thing up, when I was in high school, but we haven’t, from the looks of things, come very far.  The friend I mentioned above has a full plate.  I have learned that being in her corner means NOT taking up the whole spot.  I have my little square, and when she needs my help- HEEERE’s Gary ( without the insane Jack Nicholson leer, mind you).  The rest of the time, we are operating on our own particular wavelength.

I make abundantly clear, to all of my friends,  that I am here for them.  I also have items on my Life List (Bucket List is so overused), in which I am glad to include them, but which I will otherwise do singly and alone, as needed.  I respect their same mindset.  I look forward to many years, with several of my friends along for the ride.  Just let me know which station stops are your preferred boarding and departure points.

2014

8

I will start this now, and finish tomorrow, as my house will have no heat until tomorrow morning- meaning my first goal of the New Year is to restore what the old year took away, at the last minute.

Basically, my real goals are these:

1. Get the house ready for sale, starting in mid- March and continuing until it’s sold.

2.  Move my stuff, my son’s stuff and myself to a location closer to downtown Prescott.

3.  Continue my substituting work, my volunteer work and my Baha’i activities.

4.  Continue being available for my friends, as they need me.

5.  Hiking- Seven Falls and Kartchner Caverns (left over from 2013) within the next few days, after the heater gets fixed;    Black Canyon National Recreation Trail, in segments over the next three months; South Kaibab Trail, sometime in April; Big Bend, sometime in early May; Rocky Mountain National Park- either in June or September- because-

6.  I will go over to France and the Benelux region, either in June or September, depending on how soon this house sells.

7.  Two trips to Southern California are on the agenda:  March 20, and thereabouts, as Son embarks on a long voyage; and later in the year, most likely in July, from Santa Monica to Santa Barbara.

Everything else will unfold as it always does, on the spur of the moment.  A friend or two has indicated visits to AZ are possible, so I may play host again.

2013

4

This was definitely the year in which I cast out some serious remaining demons.   I am nothing but grateful, for the following people, places and events:

White Tanks Regional Park & Ford Canyon;

Lake Havasu City & its Balloon Festival;

Roy Purcell and his Cerbat Murals;

The Dolan Springs Joshua Tree Forest;

Oatman, AZ- and everything in it;

Matt Deuitch and his team, for helping close on the Phoenix house;

Kamran Ruintan and dental team, for helping my physical healing;

Lake Pleasant;

Deer Valley Rock Art Center;

Dave & Deb, for Hoover Dam, Red Rock National Recreation Area, the Wyndham “Green Hotel” and just for being family;

Aram, my son, for going about your vital work, being a good host and taking life by the horns;

Janet Waters, Crystal Cove, and steadfast support;

Mission San Luis Rey;

Palm Springs Tram;

“Team Dutchman”- my Superstition Mountains hiking buddies, for a successful trek around Weaver’s Needle;

Leticia Fierro and the Centennial HS troupe- ” A Midsummer Night’s Dream” never felt more alive;

The Payson Women’s Film Festival committee- for standing tall;

Ernest A.Love Post 6, American Legion, for having my back and for choosing me as your Chaplain;

Annick Elziere- for Sabino Canyon and for never losing hope;

Tubac, Tumacacori and Mission San Xavier del W’ak;

Bill Williams Mountain;

Molly Beverly and the Prescott Slow-Food team- This was a spectacular Regional Conference;

Yavapai Red Cross DAT-and all those who came to help us.  Prescott stood tall, in two horrible sets of trials;

USS Wayne E. Meyer crew, for hosting us families on a very enjoyable run;

Phyllis Killian and family, always nice to return to Dinnebito;

Mindy, Wynne and the guys- Birthdays in the Front Range are second to none;

Uncle George, Christina Knapp, Mitchell Silas, Christina Nicole and all my Colorado friends- for being there and for always setting me straight;

El Dorado Springs, Manitou Springs, US Air Force Academy, Seven Falls, Wetherill Mesa;

Derek and Sima Cockshut and Star Valley Chocolates- for reviving my flagging spirits;

Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Snake River Gorge,Cody, Greybull, Medicine Wheel, Devils Tower, Hulett and Aladdin, WY;

Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse Monument, Harney Peak, Deadwood, Custer and Mitchell, SD;

Pipestone, MN;

Jim, Summer Rae, Boston James and the bright lights of the Iowa State Capitol;

Bettendorf’s  riverfront;

Tampico  and Dixon, IL;

The ever-inspiring Baha’i House of Worship, in Wilmette;

Cahokia Mounds;

Nataly Loveless and Bloomington, IL;

John E. Glaze and Enid, OK;

Wes Hardin and the Blue Front Cafe;

Fort Smith, Van Buren and Little Rock, AR;

Beth and Dave Glick, and their lovely family;

Jeff Markowitz and Princeton, NJ;

Glenn and Barbie, for your intrepid nature and for everything good that happened to both Aram and me, during our respective visits;

Gloucester and Rockport, MA;

Jim Condon and Tom Belmonte, forever my friends;

Block Island;

Tom D. Stevens and wife, for being such gracious hosts;

New York City, for standing tall;

High Point, NJ, for honouring us veterans;

Gettysburg, for telling the story straight;

Christina F., Maliya and all Annapolis;

Rudy’s Barbecue, Springfield, OH;

Dodge City, KS;

Joshua Seyfarth, for your engaging wit and culinary skills;

Brea, CA and Carbon Canyon;

Prescott National Forest, and Sedona;

My dear parents-in-law, for all you have done and will ever do;

My Baha’i community of Prescott- my rock and armour;

Marcia Brehmer, my spiritual mentor, for all your guidance this year;

Melissa Monahan, for being a friend;

My Facebook friends, never judgmental- to me anyway;

Mom, for putting me here and for being the light of so many lives;

It has been a good year of personal growth, and yet-

I will never forget Drew Crotty, Dennis Young, Beverly Mc Millin, John Woodbury, Jamie Cooper, Bob McDonald, Lorraine Stewart, Thomas A. Smith, Janet Mortensen.

2013 is hours away from being history.  May all of us fare better in the year ahead.

Sedona’s Chuckwagon Trail

10

As with all things Sedona, this aptly-named trail, opened a few months ago, is a feast for the eyes.  The “Chuck” is a loop trail, of about 3 miles.  Yesterday, I took the segment that links with Devil’s Bridge Trail, so as to go up to Vultee Arch and get up close to that marvel of nature, also called Devil’s Bridge.

It is a moderate hike, in my estimation, not requiring much effort for most of the way- but asking the hiker to use caution on the final ascent to the Arch, as well as on the descent.  Along the way, much attention was focused on three rock climbers , perched on the south face of Mescal Mountain, across the canyon to the north.

Here are several shots of the Chuck, and of Vultee Arch.  First, is the Dry Creek Road Parking area.

SAM_7648

I took the segment of Chuckwagon that went towards the Bridge.

SAM_7650

The route to the Bridge goes east, through the scrub of the southern Great Basin, across Dry Creek (which actually had pockets of water, here and there) and back south a bit, to the Devils Bridge parking area ( a small dirt lot), off the four-wheel drive-only road.

Here, we can see the north section of Capitol Butte, which is home to the arch.

SAM_7651

Mescal Mountain and Doe Mountain are visible to the north.

SAM_7652

The trail is very easy here.

SAM_7654

True to form, I found not one, but three, heart-shaped rocks along the trail.

SAM_7656
SAM_7660
SAM_7668

There are riparian pockets along the way.

SAM_7657
SAM_7664
SAM_7661

One can see the arch from a fair distance, once on the Devils Bridge Trail.  That trail is about a mile long.

SAM_7666

The view from the sandstone bench, southwest of the bridge, is also worth the short climb.

SAM_7674
SAM_7677

Here is an interesting sandstone “slice”, near the Devils Bridge Trailhead parking lot.

SAM_7670

Finally, on the bridge itself, is an example of “Boys will be boys”.

SAM_7675

I find myself feeling best, when on the trail, whether surrounded by throngs or in isolation.  Hiking is one of the few things I haven’t messed up.  Besides, it keeps me healthy.

2012

4

These people, places and things were keys to my healing:

John E. Glaze, Enid and Gloss Mountain;

Janet Waters, San Clemente, Laguna Beach, “the Greeter”;

Casa Romantica;

Christina Knapp, Boulder, Marshall Wilderness and Chautauqua Park;

My blessed son, Aram,  and San Diego- the USS Midway, La Jolla, Maritime Historical Museum;

Palo Duro Canyon- and the Shalako;

Mesa Verde National Park;

Lamar, CO and Chez Duvall’s;

The 50th Anniversary of  The Pine Springs Proclamation (at Native American Baha’i Institute);

Thomas A. and S. Michele Smith, Reno and the Centenary of ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s visit to North America (San Francisco);

Oakland’s Centenary Walk;

The Winters family and Fort Worth’s Log Cabin Village, plus the Stockyards District;

Muir Woods;

Point Reyes and Tomales Bay;

The Coastal Redwoods;

Cape Mendocino;

The Oregon Coast, from Brookings to Florence;

Khai Devon and Portland, OR;

St. Helens and Astoria;

Hoquiam, WA;

Sassa Gal (Sarah) and the South Puget;

The Olympic Peninsula;

Ted Lew and Seattle;

Wenatchee, even in the midst of its travails;

Columbia Gorge;

Bend, Culver, Newberry Volcano and Crater Lake;

Rogue River Gorge;

Jody Bourne Weah and Ashland;

Lassen Volcanic National Park;

Elko and the Ruby Mountains;

Carol Curtis and Salt Lake City’s Centenary observance;

The Glenwood Springs Centenary observance;

Mindy and David Kosak, and George A. Boivin, III- my reliable Colorado family;

The Mortensons and San Antonio;

Austin, TX

The Pedernales Region;

South Padre Island;

Laredo;

Annick Elziere, Tucson and Sabino Canyon;

My Massachusetts family, Salem, Boston and The Freedom Trail;

The Grand Canyon, Bright Angel Trail and Sand Beach;

Most of all, Prescott, my in-laws and this house, and my community.

I came along way back, in 2012, though not quite far enough.