Category Archives: Assistance

Reading

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Family, Literary criticism, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 16,2026– As part of my activities with Hana, I read to her for 15-20 minutes, each post-feeding session, before I put her on the mat for her stretching and crawling practice. I have read her a few small cloth books and several small picture books. Around the time she reached three months, I started reading “Heidi”, by Johanna Spyri. It was one of the books that Penny had as a child. Hana pays attention quite well, especially when I change my voice for different characters, like the mercurial but loving Grandfather or the sullen but efficient Fraulein Rottenmeier.

I hope to impart to her a love of the printed word, both as a listener and as a reader. I learned to read basic words around age four, and mastered phonetics by the age of six. Aram was able to read by the age of five. Hana focuses on the words that are on some of the t-shirts I wear around the house, and I tell her what they say, several times a day, when we are together. When she is able to sit without assistance, I will start introducing letter cards and familiarizing her with the sounds associated with each letter.

Around age two, I hope to start introducing short words on cards, and have her repeat the sounds. Of course the read aloud activities will continue, even after she starts pre-school. I look forward to talking with her about the books we read-what she likes and dislikes about the book; who her favourite and not favourite characters are and why. Most importantly, I want to encourage her to think about what is read.

The printed word has been, in many ways, a medium that kept me grounded, while at the same time expanding my horizons. I wish the same for my grandchild.

Comfort

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 14, 2026- Both my son and daughter-in-law work from home, most days. Hana knows when her mother is in the office, which is across the hall from the living room, where her play mat is located. For several days now, she has been getting frustrated at reaching the end of the play mat and having to turn around and army crawl back the other way. I finally figured it out, this afternoon. She wanted to try and crawl to her mother’s office. It would involve going on a section of carpet, then up onto the wooden foyer and over to the office. I deflected her. Instead, she got to sit in the office for about ten minutes, until she was getting too chatty while her mother was on a conference call. It was okay that I took her back out. She had been able to have a little time, realized her goal, and felt comfort.

A little bit later, some heating/cooling technicians came by, and fixed some duct work issues that had left us feeling like we were living in a sweat lodge. It hasn’t been too hot outside, so the fix is a proactive one-given that we can expect several days of 100 + F temperatures, between late May and September. The four of us will now have comfort. We will also save on energy costs.

The second most important thing I can do for my family, right now, is to provide some relief for Aram and Yunhee, in household maintenance, as much as possible- especially in keeping the kitchen and bathrooms clean and the yard in order. It is in the interests of all four of us, that they not feel overwhelmed by the trifecta of job, parenting and home. I remember all too well how that felt. There is no shame in providing a fair amount of comfort.

Meticulous

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 13, 2026- The semiannual check-up began an hour late, and lasted two hours. The late start was due to the doctor spending an extra hour with the patient before me. When I came in, he spent the first hour going over my experience with Prescott VA, then spent an hour going over my recent lab results, and explaining his position on a certain medication. During that time, we each ate our lunch items, while he meticulously went over my vitals, which he found quite good. The one area that he found could improve, is the focus of the medication he is prescribing. Otherwise, he feels I am on track for a reasonable longevity. Suffice it to say, this physician is easily the most thorough and knowledgeable medical professional I have consulted since I left Phoenix.

Hana had a surprise of her own, this morning. I had to answer Nature’s call, while I was working with her on her army crawling, so I put her on her back, on the mat, did my business and came back a minute later. She had turned over and was back to army crawling, on her own. She repeated this same action, this evening, when her mother set her down and put something in the next room. The little girl has a very strong drive to build her developmental skills. She is also quite systematic, already, in how she goes about her activity.

Aram went around the house, this evening, and catalogued all the points that I will need to go over, with some workmen who will be here tomorrow, regarding the heating and cooling system, and a few peripheral issues. He is getting out in front of the potential heat waves that are bound to come in a month or two. My son has grown into a meticulous man, though I saw the seeds of that early on, even when he was a middle school student. He would want to go back over certain material, two or three times.

I am getting the sense that now the key to good health and well-being lies in careful attention to detail. I find that most gratifying.

True Blue

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 11, 2026- The penultimate speaker, in this evening’s memorial to the late Baha’i teacher, Glenford Mitchell, began by noting that the hour was getting late, and saying he would be brief. He then went on for ten minutes. No reminiscence about Mr.Mitchell could ever be ever be brief, though he himself was the model of brevity, in his talks and speeches. He simply meant too much, to too many people.

I sat for the live-streamed broadcast of this memorial because of the tenor of Mr. Mitchell’s work. An early founder of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Council (“Snick”) and co-author of “The Angry Black South” (1962), he became enamoured of the Teachings of Baha’ullah, first taught him by his paternal uncle, in his native Jamaica and coming again to the fore of his heart while he lived in Raleigh, NC as a student at Shaw University. Glenford threw himself more fully into Baha’i work and by dint of his devotion and work ethic, was elected to one Baha’i administrative body after another, serving fourteen years on the National Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of the United States, then twenty-six years on the Faith’s Supreme Body: The Universal House of Justice.

In his later years, Mr. Mitchell’s health declined, but his spirit kept on and he continued to welcome friends and family to his home, even if he could no longer walk or speak. His wife and family stood by him, and saw that his declining years were not those of misery. Glenford Mitchell’s spirit remained true blue-even through his passing on February 7.

Randy Smith, who also passed on recently, served the Baha’i Faith in Washington State and in Prescott Valley, AZ, for nearly thirty years. I knew Randy, and his wife, Linda, as steadfast, long-suffering community servants, in the Prescott area. Others recall the same about them, in the Olympia and Longview areas.Randy was most often found in his shop/garage, attached to the family home. He welcomed neighbours, including youths, who were either interested in his various projects or who simply wanted to borrow tools. He also spent long hours with his grandchildren, either when the family came up from the Phoenix area or when he and Linda went down there for a visit.

Randy was a quiet man, who shunned the limelight, but he was most often the first to arrive at a gathering, and one of the last to leave. Making sure a job was complete was his trademark. If that involved learning a new skill, well, that was a natural outgrowth of his upbringing in Ketchikan, at the southeastern tip of Alaska. Randy was also true blue.

It was my good fortune to have become familiar with Mr. Mitchell’s life and work and to have known Randy as a personal friend. May there more people who show themselves, like the scholar and the tradesman, as True Blue.

Obsessions

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 10, 2026- As I sit at the computer, reading some articles and writing my own, I watch one or two squirrels traversing the neighbour’s roof and nearby trees, living the full life of exercise, play and acorn gathering that make up the life of a tree squirrel. I also listen for my granddaughter, napping downstairs in her bassinet. She will call out or coo, when she wakes up, knowing that I will shortly come downstairs and tend to her needs.

In neither the rodent, nor the innocent child, is there an excessive focus on anything other than surviving and thriving. Once a person reaches the age of reason, however, unmet needs can turn into obsessions, almost exclusive foci on one or two persons or concepts, even to the extent of neglecting one’s daily duties or responsibilities.

A friend has written an article about “derangement syndrome”. I have yet to read the piece, but I can say, ahead of the game, that such terms indicate obsession, not only by the person who hates, but also by the one who is receiving the vitriol-if that person encourages the attention. It is well-understood, by child psychologists and parents, that a neglected child, one deprived of attention over an extended period, will construct his or her own universe, in which he or she is the center.

We all do this, to a modest extent, as no parent, however dedicated and loving, can shower attention on a child 24/7. For the well-adjusted person, however, there are limits to self-absorption: A spouse, a friend, a sibling, a child or an organization will have needs that the individual, of own volition, will choose to help meet.

For the deprived individual, however, everything in the constructed universe becomes transactional, with him or her as the end recipient. The longer and stronger the deprivation, the deeper the delusion, the louder the demands for attention, and the more creative the transactions. This has been borne out, throughout history, across nations and cultures.

Now, it’s time to tend to my granddaughter.

Scapegoats

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 8, 2026- I recall my father telling me, when I was nine, that President Harry S. Truman said “The buck stops here”, as a point he was making on taking responsibility for one’s actions. I largely managed to stick to admitting my mistakes and taking the consequences, for about the next twenty-five years.

As time went on, and life threw a few curve balls at me, and at my family, I fell into the habit of blame casting: “The politicians” or “Big Money” was responsible for my being let go from different jobs. I saw myself as an honest servant of the common people-and it was corrupt overseers who wanted me gone. That may have been the case, but the fact remains that I didn’t learn anything, or make any progress as a human being, by not owning my part in my own situation.

We seem to have created a situation, in which scapegoating is a national pastime: Depending on who is talking, the nation’s ills are being created by “the Democrats”; “the Republicans”; “drug cartels”; “immigrants”; “Fascists”; “Communists”; “Californians”; “New Yorkers”; “Texans”; “Europeans”; “the Chinese”; “Sleepy Joe”; “MAGA”.

My late father-in-law had a simple cure for my own blame-casting “No one is that powerful. Besides, even if there was a person who contributed to your being let go, you bear the ultimate responsibility. You don’t live rent free in anyone’s head. Why let them squat in yours?”:

Each of us can identify people who contribute to the nation’s well-being, or to the nation’s ills. In the end, though, how we fare depends on the actions of the citizenry as a whole. Scapegoats, as my FIL said, are little more than squatters.

Messy

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 6, 2026- Babies can be messy. They need to be bathed, have their diapers changed, undersides cleaned, faces washed and mouths rinsed with pre-dental solution.

Children can be messy. They need to be taught to take their shoes or boots off, when entering a house, or wipe their feet, when entering a public place. They need to be trained to wipe themselves after using a toilet, and wash their hands afterward, then dry them with a cloth or paper towel. They need to be shown how to make their beds and clean their rooms, putting things back where they found them.

Teenagers can be messy. They need to be held to account and actively encouraged to slow down and be present in a situation. They know how to focus on others; they do so with their friends, all the time. Extend that focus to people older and younger than themselves.

Families can be messy. Patience and communication are the cleaning agents. So is reflection-remembering when one was in the same position as the one who made the mess, or looking ahead to when one will be in the same position. The child will become an adult, and very well may be a parent. The parent may very well become a grandparent. The grandparent must never forget what it was like to be a baby, a child, a teenager, a parent.

Communities, and organizations, can be messy. Patience, and communication, are even more essential here, even as they become more complex. Technology can help, and it can also hinder; the way in which it is used determines which will be the case. The viewpoints of leaders, and members, will decide how tools, including technology, are used.

Life is messy; it can only be cleaned by those living it.

Restoration

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 2, 2026- I watched an episode of “Chicago PD’ on restorative justice, this evening. Like all procedurals, this one took some twists and turns, but ended up with the back story of the attempt at restorative justice. The offender was killed, as it turned out, by his actual victim.

It became another case of a woman killing her male assailant. The police did everything they could, to advise the young woman and prepare her for what she might face in the correctional facility, pending trial. The story reflected what is an all too common occurrence in criminal law: A battered woman, or girl, fights back and either maims or kills, in self-defense. The legal system puts an emphasis on the “rights” of the male and puts the full burden on the female.

There are two aspects to this phenomenon that I would like to address here. First, there is an overemphasis, in popular culture and in its attendant media, on the physicality of human existence. The physical attributes of a human being are stressed, and become the initial basis for a relationship. Men feel pressured to “score” with attractive women. Women are held to a certain standard, from which deviation is grounds for various sanctions. Most of us have been there, to one degree or another.

We are though, at our core, spiritual beings. The most enduring relationships are always those that are rooted in a spiritual bond. Physical attractiveness is bound to fade, at one point or another. It is no mistake that the “ties that bind” are always based on the “inside” aspect of “beautiful, inside and out.” In my own life, I probably felt closer to my late wife in the time of her physical decline than in our earlier years together. The inner beauty never faded, but became clearer, as her life edged towards a close.

The second aspect is derived from patriarchy. The idea that men and women have set roles to play in the course of society, and there should be no deviation from those roles, is the mark of a culture that is hemmed in by its own hand-and is hoist of its own petard. It penalizes females who don’t play by the rules, which are, essentially, that there are separate codes for men and women to follow. In its worst form, women are categorized as property of a male. Men, from heads of family to pimps, have used this to maintain an inordinate amount of control over the women and girls in their midst.

A society, in which the unique gifts of every human being are valued and celebrated, will not continue to let such an unbalanced system continue to rule the conduct of daily affairs. Replacing patriarchy with equanimity is the only way out of the box in which we have, as a society, imprisoned ourselves.

Not Invincible

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Posted by on in Assistance, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 20, 2026- Chuck Norris died today, the last day of winter taking one of the last Winter Soldiers. He was a lot more politically conservative than I am- I think the last Presidential candidate we both supported was Ronald Reagan-and for different reasons. I thought the Great Communicator was a man of character (until Iran-Contra). Chuck said he liked the aura of machismo. Years ago, I was told, by two different groups of young men, that I looked like Chuck. The first group, of Navajo adolescents, would approach me by getting into martial arts stances-only joking, of course. The second, a trio of young Black men, on a bus going to Buffalo, said I could go around spouting lines from his movies, and some people would do a double take. No one really close to me, though, has ever recognized a likeness.

I never met Chuck Norris, but I watched “The Way of the Dragon” and many of the “Walker, Texas Ranger” episodes. I also got a kick out of the Chuck Norris jokes, even doing a spoof on Xanga: “Chuck Norris vs. The Most Interesting Man in the World”. (The latter was a character on a Dos Equis beer commercial, who was played by Jonathan Goldsmith). I believe one of the lines was “Chuck Norris yawns at the Most Interesting Man, who doesn’t dare yawn back.”

It is at times tempting to take solace in the exploits of a supremely masculine figure-but eventually, the He-Men pass from the scene, as Chuck Norris did today. When I was a kid, I was in awe of Charles Atlas and Jack LaLanne. Charles (nee Angelo Siciliano) was a body builder, well before the heyday of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He lived to be 80, then died of a heart attack. Jack was a diet and exercise guru and lived to be 96, then died of pneumonia, after refusing to see a doctor. In the 1960s, the two were seen as invincible-Jack even said he “could never die, because it’d ruin my image.”

So it goes, and it is equally true of those public figures who seem invincible in their own right. They will come to a reckoning, like you and I and everyone in between. It’ll shock some of their admirers, but as Chuck would say; “You become what you choose.”

Bloodlines

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 17, 2026- Today being St. Patrick’s Day, my thoughts go to the Irish heritage on both my mother’s and father’s sides. The Kusches, who hailed from Szcezcin, Poland, back when it was Stettin, Pomerania, ended up in St; Louis and Chicago, by the mid-19th Century. Papa Kusch journeyed east, as a young man, and became a shoemaker in Boston, and a small farmer in Saugus. Before they were Kusches, though, they were Cooks-in the area around Wexford, Ireland. Poverty, and the Hanseatic League’s allure, brought them to the Baltic shores. The family was proud of having been prosperous in Germany, and in the Midwest, and I heard little about our Irish roots, but I always felt a draw to the Emerald Isle. Mom had me pledge to look into her side of the family, when we talked of the genealogy that my Dad’s older brother had compiled. I thought that meant going to Pomerania, but last summer’s visit to Wexford, and nearby Rosslare, brief as it was, introduced me to a few people who looked strikingly like my mother and aunts. I later learned their family name was Cook. Part of me wants to go back and spend more time there, but that will need to wait.

My granddaughter will have far taller order, should she ever want to check out her roots. Half of her bloodline is Korean, and there are probably some Chinese ancestors. going way back. The other half is Heinz 57: German, English, Irish, French, Penobscot, Jewish, Lithuanian, Romanian, and Scottish. Her present and near term well-being, though, has me refocusing my energies. The journeys I undertake in the foreseeable future are all along the paths of introducing a little soul to the wider world.

That brings me to a separate point. There was once, at a Baha’i-sponsored conference in Florida, a zone set aside for protesters. Neo-Nazis and Black Separatists found themselves next to one another, in that small zone. There are, on both the Far Right and Far Left, those who today preach the credo of division. The truth about human relations is “whatever we say it is”, and any who call for reconciliation between ethnic groups or “racial” entities are accused of clinging to outmoded, discarded concepts. I beg to differ: It is the very divisions to which they cling that are outmoded, counterproductive and dangerous. Clothing them in academic jargon, or using tones of ridicule, do nothing to bring a longed-for peace. I have to wonder if peace is even what they want- or is conflict more alluring?

Regardless, as Hana and others of her generation show, bloodlines are no respecters of truly outmoded ideologies.