Category Archives: Personal goals

The Road to 65, Mile 28: Transformation Begins Here

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December 26, 2014, Phoenix-  Every spiritual quest has a beginning, middle and end.  The mid point of my present journey was in Truth or Consequences- quite a surprise, as I had figured on being in the mountains by then.  The Universe has much figured-out, that it only reveals to us in layers.  A snarky commentator on another Word Press site, angrily disputed the notion that we need focus on the Present.  My take is that without that focus, the Future he so adamantly says SHOULD be our focus, presents itself as a chaotic jumble of unclear choices.

I am now in Phoenix, attending the 30th Annual Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, so named because this is the Grand Canyon State.  It is apropos in another way, as well.  Here, we can collectively delve into a wealth of spiritual and social issues.  Perhaps fortuitously, a major focus this year is our relationship to finance- both personal and communal.

I recognize that, before my own financial house gets seriously in order, which my heart tells me is about to happen, I need to complete some unresolved aspects of personal spiritual transformation.  The humility part is down, and the discipline part is getting there.  Tightening up on occasional use of coarse language, always done in trusting private, is definitely necessary now.  Dropping “F-bombs”, even in a state of righteous indignation, is like popping a bag full of coal dust.  It impresses few, and doesn’t do much to better a situation.  So, you might say this is my early “New Year’s Resolution”.  In that regard, what few such resolutions I make, I tend to keep.  Making vows to self, and not keeping them longer than a few days or weeks, is the wicked sibling to greeting a newly-opened gift with “Just what I always wanted”, or dismissing a compliment with a sneering “Oh, THAAANK you”.

Transformation is like the journey itself. it never really ends.  Even after our spirit and body bid each other farewell, the spirit moves on and on, and the body greets its friend, the soil, repaying Mother Earth, or in the case of cremation, the life-giving atmosphere, for having sustained it for so many years.  The spirit never stops growing- even after plateauing a while, the move forward resumes.

I was reminded of this tonight, as the great Van Gilmer, a Gospel and Spiritual artist of the first magnitude, led his equally-accomplished adult children, and an impromptu choir of Phoenix-area singers, in a rousing set of songs from those hand-clapping, foot-stomping, and supremely energizing genres.  “I made my vow to the Lord, that I never will turn back.  No, I will go, I shall go, to see what the end is going to be.”  This is what Christ called the “The end that shall have no end.”  So, it continues- the end of 2014 is fast approaching.  The beginning of 2015 comes swiftly thereafter.   I must be ready, and I will go, I shall go.

The Road to 65, Mile 27: The Finest of Yules

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December 25, 2014, Vail, AZ-

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When I finally got my phone plugged in, this evening, and was able to have a decent conversation with my mother, we each agreed that the other had done a good job of parenting.  We also gave credit to our now departed spouses.  The finest gift one could ever get, regardless of the occasion, is consistent love from a parent.

Some say it’s the parent with whom one shares gender, who is the most crucial influence in life.  I found the influence of both to be critical to my survival and happiness, over time.  I know Penny valued both of her parents, and her father loved his three girls, with all the paternal ardor he could muster.  Penny poured her heart and soul into raising our son, as did I.  What sparked this in my mind, was seeing a photo of a young man playing a video game on his phone, with his two daughters very close to him, and looking very glad that their Daddy was with them.

People can do all sorts of things that are positive, with their children.  Most of the messages I have received from people today about their family time, yesterday and today, have been positive and full of gratitude.  There are a few tales of conflict and strife, mainly from the victims of selfish and unhappy parents.  Those tales pain me, especially when I think of how much my parents did to make our lives joyful, and I know it wasn’t easy for them, a good many years.

I spent a marvelous Christmas Eve and Day with a couple of wonderful friends, just east of Tucson.  This is the first day in a while, that I don’t have a boatload of photos to unleash on you, my faithful readers.  Just know that enjoying a meal prepared by a woman who can barely eat anything, is worth all the buffets in all the casinos of the world.  Eating fresh-baked biscuits, as is, was one of the best breakfasts ever. My friend and I went out for lunch, he hoping to find a Chinese buffet.  We found a small place which prepared off the menu, and did even better, meal-wise, than we might have at a buffet.  The relaxation that I enjoyed the past two days was a huge Christmas gift.

So, too, was speaking with my Mom, after all these years, one of the best friends I could ever want.  She doesn’t feel old, and that does my heart fabulous.  Hope a fine Yule was had by you,but if not, look to the New Year.  Sometimes, Happy can’t be summoned within a given time frame.

The Road to 65, Mile 20: Now, Then

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December 18, 2014, Prescott-   I found out, early this morning, that someone had pushed the wrong button, in the course of my last financial transaction.  The deposit which should have been posted yesterday, never made it.  This will slightly alter my spiritual journey to western New Mexico, which I had planned on starting Friday night.  No matter, I will get a good night’s sleep here, and most likely be able to set out on Saturday morning.

Zuni, where Penny and I first met, in December, 1980, is first on my itinerary. El Morro National Monument, near there, is next, and I will head, in succession, to Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge, where we went crane watching, Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument and Silver City, which we wanted to visit, but never did, Cochise Stronghold (one of my favourite meditation spots), and Tucson, where a few friends await.

Christmas weekend will find me at the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, where I have spent each of the past twenty-two years, save 1997.  It is a good place for spiritual regeneration, and coming on the heals of my time in the forests of western New Mexico and the serene desert near Vail and Avra Valley, it represents a double dose.  Of course, the crowds at GCBC are large, but I draw energy from the youth, and regard many of them as friends.  I have watched so many grow up from infancy, in the time I’ve been back in Arizona.  Now, they are taking on the world, on their own terms.

I sat down this morning with several of the Red Cross Disaster Response Team members, with whom I would be working, if chosen for the position mentioned earlier.  There is a plethora of detail to be worked out, each time a disaster happens.  Good thing there is no ‘I’ in team.  I have had a lot of practice, these past two years, both here and in Europe, in being an effective member of a team handling somewhat chaotic emergencies.  There is a reason for everything.

This evening gave me an hour’s worth of study on Essential Oils, vis-a-vis women’s health issues.  It is also going to come in handy, and this area was not something with which I had much familiarity, until now. That goes to show, in this day and age, an old dog had best learn new tricks, and skills, without hesitation.

The Road to 65, Mile 19: Green Chili and Coconut-Fennel Cookies

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December 17, 2014, Phoenix-  I could not really explain to the befuddled police officer why I slightly strayed over the broken lane line, on one of Prescott’s main streets, this morning.  I certainly wasn’t DWI- haven’t had a drink in 33 years, and I’m not on any meds.  I was feeling a bit woozy, though, so his pulling me over, mostly, it seemed, out of boredom, was a good thing.  I didn’t get anything more than a verbal caution, which nonetheless forced me to refocus on the here and now.

I bought the cookie sheet I needed, went home and baked 1 1/2 dozen cookies, made with spelt flour, aluminum-free baking powder, a cage-free egg, fractionated coconut oil,shredded coconut, coconut sugar (unrefined), fennel and lemon oil.  The process of finding the cookie sheet, police encounter included, took one hour.  The mixing of ingredients and baking of the cookies took 25 minutes.

I took the goodies down to a Red Cross luncheon in Phoenix.  It was a well-catered, Mexican food affair, to which the HR director and I were the last to arrive.  No matter; I missed the enchiladas, but had a good plateful of everything else.  I also got to watch the latter part of a white-elephant gift exchange, always good for a few laughs.  Once all was done, I offered my cookies to the group, as they headed back to their desks.  Each one who took a bite said the cookie was fabulous.  Mission achieved!

After ascertaining from the HR Director that nothing more would be done, vis-a-vis the position for which I’m applying, until after New Year’s, I gassed up and headed back to Prescott.  This is the way of it:  The tasks which I undertake might involve driving 100 miles, for thirty minutes worth of , or they might mean walking five minutes, and spending five hours at a small desk.

I’ve drawn the conclusion that it is all a matter of focusing on the what, the why and the who.  The how usually makes itself known, in process.  There is nothing too small or mundane, too grand or exotic.  There is no one too obscure, or overarching, in importance.  There is nothing too simple, or complex, in rationale.  All tasks end up equal in importance, in the end, as all tie together to make this series of events we call a life.

I will, no doubt, make more cookies, before the week is out. There is another gathering on Friday evening, and before that, a friend or two to visit here in town.  Each one counts as much as the other, differing only in the intensity, and nature, of our relationship.  That’s how it is with a widower:  Those who fill the world, after one’s beloved departs for a purely spiritual presence, are loved strictly for their inherent humanity.  Ulterior motives serve no good purpose, and I have thus discarded them.  In the ensuing bliss, green chili is as good as its red cousin and cookies flavoured with essential oils are a joyful contribution.

The Road to 65, Mile 17: The Office Party

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December 15, 2014, Prescott-  Yesterday evening, I attended a Red Cross office Christmas Party, at the lovely home of one of the lead volunteers.  It was about seven miles out in the country, and the home was both modern and cozy.  I haven’t attended very many office gatherings, over the years, but I have embarrassed myself only once, back in the drinking-problem days, when I was first in Graduate School.  Since then, it’s been a nice learning curve of honour and respect.

We had a nice assortment of foods, and I brought my bubbly cranberry (non-alcoholic).  The two dogs present kept us on our toes, vis-a-vis placement of food.  Several photos were taken, and I was not in any of them- being just happy to converse with several people, on a variety of topics.  The party game was “Janga”, of which I opted out, being of not the greatest fine-motor coordination.  I am applying for a position within our office, so hopefully  my not playing won’t prove to be this year’s equivalent of “You didn’t drink the boss’s brand of beer.”

This brings me to the position.  I have looked over the specs for this job, and I have a vision for it, which I will lay out, first on the application, and later, with my wider audience.  One of my siblings once upbraided me for rarely delivering on my promises, in the work world.  He was largely correct, but I did, in the 1990’s, implement and administer a Comprehensive, Competency-based Guidance program.  Sure, it was part of a national trend, yet the teachers and I made it work, tailored to our school’s local conditions. I can do that again. Being much better at playing well with others than I used to be, is a big deal.

The new position would revamp my plans for the next six years or so.  I would free-lance travel a lot less, but the stability would make my eventual journeys a whole lot more comfortable, when they happen.  I would definitely be out and about, a lot, though, in my territory of northwestern Arizona.  A good life involves a series of adjustments, and many of those are self-determined.

The Road to 65, Mile 15: Validation and Respect

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December 13, 2014, Prescott- I watch my favourite television shows on my laptop, a day after they are aired on TV.   This evening, I  watched a segment of “Blue Bloods”, in which one of the issues was respect between a husband and wife.  Validation of  a woman’s goals and aspirations was a matter of  personal growth for men of my father’s generation.  My mother did that for which she was trained, hairdressing and cosmetology, working out of her kitchen, as part of putting food on the table.  Dad respected that choice, and valued her efforts.

It was a no-brainer for me, that Penny would work at what she loved best, and at what she excelled.  We worked a few times in the same schools, and her efforts often exceeded my own.  I learned to be sensitive, to avoid small acts or statements which could be misconstrued as disrespect for her work, or for her thoughts, goals, dreams.  There is a lot of subliminal sensitivity among Baby Boomers, stemming from our place as a transitional generation, one of whose tasks was to establish a true equality between genders.

Society is not there yet.  Women, by and large, do get validated, in terms of their aspirations- up to a point.  There remains the Glass Ceiling.  There still exists the disparity in salaries, between genders.  Both genders, to a large extent, regard rape as a victim-initiated crime- even, among some on the far right, a contrived crime, either instigated by the woman, or made up by her-for various reasons.

To be sure, there are those who use rape as a cudgel.  Such women, though, are a very small percentage of the total post-pubescent female populace.  Their acts should neither define public policy nor be the determinant of society’s attitude towards the vast majority of victims of sexual assault- female or male.

As an educator, as an uncle and as a friend, I regard the aspirations, the efforts and the boundless intellectual and ergonomic gifts of women and men on an equal level.  As a fellow human, I regard a person’s body, space and well-being as inviolable.  Each of us has had to struggle with emotional and spiritual baggage.  I have disposed of much of my own, especially in the past dozen years.  I have imparted to our son, the imperative of being at eye level with any woman he wishes to bring into his life.

Being in the world, living a complete life, means extending that right to all others.  Slowly, and steadily, the human race will realize that gender equality brooks no leeway.

The Road to 65, Mile 13: Indianola/Sandy Hook

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December 11, 2014, Prescott-   When I was eleven, the Scoutmaster of my Boy Scout troop, with my Dad’s blessing, took me to a firearms safety class, at the Essex County Chapter of the National Rifle Association.  There, I learned how to properly load, aim and fire a deer rifle, and how to clean it.  This lesson would be repeated, seven years later, in Army Basic Training- only with an M-16.

I was brought up to respect weapons,of all kinds.  In turn, I imparted this respect to my son, when it came time for him to purchase a handgun.  He practiced and mastered firearms care and safety at a shooting range in the Phoenix area.  He has since acquired further such training, with the Navy.

My late wife, also, was an expert rifleman.  Her father was a lifelong member of the NRA.  So, the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution is very dear to my family’s hearts.  None of us would want to see it breached, or compromised.

There is something else none of us like seeing compromised:  The life of a child.  Whether through orphanhood, maiming or flat-out murder, the effect of unregulated weapon use by unstable people, by the criminally insane, by the vengeful affects the life of a child.  It is a stain on the Second Amendment.

I do not believe that the Sandy Hook shootings were orchestrated by a shadowy branch of the Federal government, or by the FBI.  Saying such things is a dodge, as if the lives of 26 innocent people never mattered, much.  Therein lies the insanity, the illness behind self-serving callousness,  with which, by the way, the surviving families of those 26, including the children, were confronted, almost from the moment of their loved ones’ slayings.  Here’s why I don’t believe it:  Acts of terror involving firearms almost always are perpetrated by loners, by those who detest authority.  Adam Lanza fit that description to a tee.  So, too, did Daniel Nadler, who killed a classmate, in cold blood, in Indianola, Iowa, in June, 2010.  The same is true of so many others, similarly charged and so often convicted, of ending the lives of innocents who crossed their paths.

We can do better, but first, we must want to.   We must want to have firearms available only to those of sound mind.  We must want to keep the weapons we may need for self-defense, out of the reach of the immature and the unstable.  We must want to have a social contract which guarantees that firearms are being afforded the respect and careful use due them, in each and every household in which they are present.

It’s hard work, but this is America.  Time to roll up our sleeves.

The Road to 65, Mile 12: The Age of Unreason

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December 10, 2014, Prescott- It seems so much these days is decided by emotion, accompanied by sloppy fact-checking, and the need more and more people seem to have, for external verification.  These processes don’t bring communities and nations together, and never will.

I have lived a fairly solitary life, for the past 3 1/2 years.  My family members all have full cups and don’t need anyone else’s concerns to address, no matter how great or small those are.  It’s for that reason that I have learned to rely on my own resources, and it’s why I am leaning more and more towards taking the bull by the horns, with regard to a full-time disaster prevention and relief position, in mid-February next year.

I have friends at all points on the political spectrum,  while maintaining my own sense of right and wrong.  My Dad was a social and fiscal conservative.  My mother is a social liberal, who nonetheless ran a tight ship, based on us taking responsibility.  So, I was compelled to listen to both points of view, growing up, and have the bounty of seeing many shades of opinion today.

I will not, though, go along with anyone who advocates oppression or harm to an innocent person, or group.  There are those who derive their power and satisfaction, from dividing people and groups.  We see this in everything from the camera hogs and pundits who are first on the scene of an episode of unrest, to the Deep Pockets who fund entities which seek to keep information from the people-at-large.

My parents liked and respected Martin Luther King, Jr, the Kennedy brothers, Cesar Chavez and even Malcolm X, after his return from Hajj.  My latter-day heroes are mostly international figures:   The late Nelson Mandela, Aung-san Suu Kyi,  Malala Yousafzai and the new President of Indonesia:  Joko Widodo.  Those who can see beyond the current atmosphere of “dodge and cast blame” are the figures who will lead us through the darksome night.

The Road to 65, Mile 11: Getting Organized

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December 9, 2014, Prescott- This date used to be one of the last serious work days, before things got TOTALLY CHRISTMAS.  That was when I was young and naive.  As a Baha’i, I still get into the spirit of the season, though.  My family and Christian friends, and their joys, still matter greatly.  So, I still send greeting cards, some with gift cards inserted.  I enjoy the holiday sounds and feel the magic of the day itself, knowing that it has Wiccan roots, which themselves celebrate bounty and blessings.  It is as good a time as any to honour Christ, and all He has brought to the world.

All the Messengers of God have brought the rudiments of organized worship to Their followers, and have left it to those followers to carry on the Mission of the Faith, through organizations which meet their needs.  That many have gone overboard, or astray, in the fullness of time, does not make the need for humans to be organized any less urgent.

In my own life, the difficulties I’ve had in accomplishment and in delivery of my promises, have all arisen from lack of organization.  My recent entry into the world of wellness advocacy has made getting more organized, on a daily basis, and according to the type of day ahead of me (Working, Non-working but in-town, On the road), much more imperative.  So, that was today’s main focus, along with updating my generic resume.

I also spent some time with a colleague, discussing a possible re-entry into the work force, in mid-February, after I return from visiting family and friends in the South.  This would radically alter my daily life, so it is not being considered capriciously.  Details will be shared at the proper time. Whatever transpires, I will remain in disciplined organization mode, from one day to the next.

The Road to 65, Mile 10: Teamwork

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December 8, 2014, Prescott- This morning, I  covered a choral classroom.  This frog didn’t croak, but a group of sixth graders practiced their songs and watched a segment of “Mary Poppins”.  Then, a single guitar student, in a class of six, showed up for class and I learned his classmates were testing in another part of the school.  So, he practiced his chords and watched part of “August Rush”.  The Advanced Choir came in next, and led by two classmates, the group practiced a choreographic piece, based on “Here Comes Santa Claus”.

The mostly female ensemble struggled with their own need to catch up with their friends, after the weekend, and the uncertainty that so often accompanies adolescents trying to learn a new skill, while being thoroughly convinced that “all eyes are on MEEE”.  They worked hard, very hard, to make it perfect- apologizing to me, and to each other, when they felt it wasn’t.  In the end, their teamwork made the difference.

I thought they did a fabulous job, with the various new steps, and that they listened.  Confidence is so sorely lacking in teens, despite their reputation for swagger and bravado.  Maybe that’s why I can’t think of any other line of work that I’d rather do full-time.  Teaching, safeguarding and advocating for children and teens is, and will remain, my most urgent concern- whether it is skill-building, working to free captives and slaves, or just plain listening and encouraging.

Watching the kids engaged in teamwork set my week on a beautiful path.