The Road to 65, Mile 29: Darkening, Below the Peaks

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December 27, 2014, Phoenix- When I was 18, and working at the General Electric Company’s Riverworks, in Lynn, MA, word came up the pipes that one of our town’s favourite police officers, Augustine J. “Gus” Belmonte, had been slain, while busting up a robbery attempt at a Saugus restaurant. Rumours flew about that it was an execution, ordered by this or that Mob boss. Gus was a man of the people, and enforced the law in an even-handed, humane manner. It turned out that the killers were Irish-American thugs, but not tied to any crime family, per se. All Saugus turned out to see Gus off to his place in Heaven.

I was a jerk-wad kid, back then, and probably struck a lot of people as being barely able to tie my own shoelaces, but I thought the world of Augustine J. Belmonte. He was in the prime of his life, forty-four years of age, when the Lord called him home.

Fast forward, nearly forty-six years later, to Flagstaff, AZ. Tyler Stewart, a young man from north Phoenix, serving in his first year as a police officer on the Flagstaff force, responded to a domestic violence call, in one of the mountain town’s few tough neighbourhoods. The perp got the officer’s confidence by seeming to be polite and co-operative, then got the drop on Officer Stewart. Tyler Stewart was 24.

Flagstaff is a university community, a ski resort and an outdoorsman’s year-round paradise. The San Francisco Peaks, an alpine sky city, loom to the north and smaller peaks like Mount Elden, Mars Hill and Kendrick Peak beckon to hikers and runners, as well. It is also a railroad town, as anyone seeking a good night’s sleep in any of the motels along Old U.S. 66 can attest. Drifters and the troubled find their way here, en route to or from California or Las Vegas, and many stay. Robert Smith, who killed Officer Stewart before turning the gun on himself, was one of those troubled souls. He was 28.

While this transpired, on a sunny Saturday-after-Christmas, I was in a faith-based conference in Phoenix, learning of systemic alternatives to greed, rapacity and vengeance. It occurred to those of us who heard of this incident, over dinner, that there is, when people feel utterly trapped, and at the mercy of wolves, so to speak-they revert to savagery, however tempered by cunning that it may be.

We often worry about high-profile catastrophe: Mass murders, such as the Twin Towers, Newtown or Peshawar; missing and ill-fated airplanes, of which there have been three this year; or almost incomprehensible global phenomena, such as the Mega-Tsunami of ten years ago, Friday. The more common tragedy is, collectively, like death by a thousand cuts. Four police officers have been killed, in the line of duty, over the past two months. Some blame an obscure street gang, which has “declared war” on police. To date, that group has not carried out any of its threats. The deaths which have occurred, are all random results of a torn social fabric. The mentally ill, from unrestrained sociopaths to schizophrenics, who are shunted aside by the hipsters and the Men of Purpose, have, in each case, been shown to be the perpetrators.

While there is no conspiracy, there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Registration of firearms, as appealing  and, in many cases, necessary as it is, resolves only a small part of the problem. It has not been that many years since I had to explain to my then-teenaged son how it was that a schizoid man could behead his own flesh and blood, and toss the head out of his moving truck, onto a highway full of horrified commuters. No human being can long be made to feel that he or she is irrelevant to the very people in whom trust has been placed. The rest of us will soon have to bear the full cost, and dollars are a very small part of that cost- as everyone who has tried to make mental health care all about the money has learned, to their chagrin.

In a couple of days, most of us will assess this departed year and gaze ahead at the broad horizon of anno novo. The sunrise and sunset will appear the same. Perhaps somewhere, an overloaded ferry, in a far-off place, will be the first reported disaster. The jails will be full of those who over-celebrated. In New York City, a young widow will wake up alone, and two fatherless boys will look at the empty dining-room chair, where their father used to sit. In the Anthem neighbourhood of Phoenix, a veteran State Police officer will look out the window, and tears will stream down his face- as he wonders “Why MY son?”. even as he knows the answer, full-well. In the Old Town section of Flagstaff, a young woman will also wake up, without the man she thought she could trust, and hopefully not blame herself.

Life is beautiful, under the shadow of the Peaks, and it is also grim.

The Road to 65, Mile 28: Transformation Begins Here

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December 26, 2014, Phoenix- Every spiritual quest has a beginning, middle and end. The mid point of my present journey was in Truth or Consequences- quite a surprise, as I had figured on being in the mountains by then. The Universe has much figured-out, that it only reveals to us in layers. A snarky commentator on another Word Press site, angrily disputed the notion that we need focus on the Present. My take is that without that focus, the Future he so adamantly says SHOULD be our focus, presents itself as a chaotic jumble of unclear choices.

I am now in Phoenix, attending the 30th Annual Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, so named because this is the Grand Canyon State. It is apropos in another way, as well. Here, we can collectively delve into a wealth of spiritual and social issues. Perhaps fortuitously, a major focus this year is our relationship to finance- both personal and communal.

I recognize that, before my own financial house gets seriously in order, which my heart tells me is about to happen, I need to complete some unresolved aspects of personal spiritual transformation. The humility part is down, and the discipline part is getting there. Tightening up on occasional use of coarse language, always done in trusting private, is definitely necessary now. Dropping “F-bombs”, even in a state of righteous indignation, is like popping a bag full of coal dust. It impresses few, and doesn’t do much to better a situation. So, you might say this is my early “New Year’s Resolution”. In that regard, what few such resolutions I make, I tend to keep. Making vows to self, and not keeping them longer than a few days or weeks, is the wicked sibling to greeting a newly-opened gift with “Just what I always wanted”, or dismissing a compliment with a sneering “Oh, THAAANK you”.

Transformation is like the journey itself. it never really ends. Even after our spirit and body bid each other farewell, the spirit moves on and on, and the body greets its friend, the soil, repaying Mother Earth, or in the case of cremation, the life-giving atmosphere, for having sustained it for so many years. The spirit never stops growing- even after plateauing a while, the move forward resumes.

I was reminded of this tonight, as the great Van Gilmer, a Gospel and Spiritual artist of the first magnitude, led his equally-accomplished adult children, and an impromptu choir of Phoenix-area singers, in a rousing set of songs from those hand-clapping, foot-stomping, and supremely energizing genres. “I made my vow to the Lord, that I never will turn back. No, I will go, I shall go, to see what the end is going to be.” This is what Christ called the “The end that shall have no end.” So, it continues- the end of 2014 is fast approaching. The beginning of 2015 comes swiftly thereafter. I must be ready, and I will go, I shall go.

The Road to 65, Mile 27: The Finest of Yules

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December 25, 2014, Vail, AZ-

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When I finally got my phone plugged in, this evening, and was able to have a decent conversation with my mother, we each agreed that the other had done a good job of parenting. We also gave credit to our now departed spouses. The finest gift one could ever get, regardless of the occasion, is consistent love from a parent.

Some say it’s the parent with whom one shares gender, who is the most crucial influence in life. I found the influence of both to be critical to my survival and happiness, over time. I know Penny valued both of her parents, and her father loved his three girls, with all the paternal ardor he could muster. Penny poured her heart and soul into raising our son, as did I. What sparked this in my mind, was seeing a photo of a young man playing a video game on his phone, with his two daughters very close to him, and looking very glad that their Daddy was with them.

People can do all sorts of things that are positive, with their children. Most of the messages I have received from people today about their family time, yesterday and today, have been positive and full of gratitude. There are a few tales of conflict and strife, mainly from the victims of selfish and unhappy parents. Those tales pain me, especially when I think of how much my parents did to make our lives joyful, and I know it wasn’t easy for them, a good many years.

I spent a marvelous Christmas Eve and Day with a couple of wonderful friends, just east of Tucson. This is the first day in a while, that I don’t have a boatload of photos to unleash on you, my faithful readers. Just know that enjoying a meal prepared by a woman who can barely eat anything, is worth all the buffets in all the casinos of the world. Eating fresh-baked biscuits, as is, was one of the best breakfasts ever’. My friend and I went out for lunch, he hoping to find a Chinese buffet. We found a small place which prepared off the menu, and did even better, meal-wise, than we might have at a buffet. The relaxation that I enjoyed the past two days was a huge Christmas gift.

So, too, was speaking with my Mom, after all these years, one of the best friends I could ever want. She doesn’t feel old, and that does my heart fabulous. Hope a fine Yule was had by you,but if not, look to the New Year. Sometimes, Happy can’t be summoned within a given time frame.

The Road to 65, Mile 26: Homage to a Chief, and Hail to the Heathens

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December 24, 2014, Vail, AZ- Growing up, and especially in my teens and twenties, Christmas Eve almost achieved a holiday status all its own. As a young adult, it almost became a not-so-dry run for its sister Eve, a week later. This morning, I scouted around for a breakfast place in Lordsburg. The Pilot Truck Stop store turned out to be the closest thing to such an establishment, since I swore off fast food chains, a while back. (Well, I do go in Subway, now and then, but you get the picture.) Armed with a blueberry muffin and high test coffee, I checked out of Holiday Motel and headed west.

Cochise, the famed Apache warrior chief, was a complex man. His thoughts on the state in which he found himself and his people were summed up by his observation to General Crook that the common enemy of both Apache and American was the Spaniard, who had long since disappeared from these lands, to be replaced by the Mexican, whom Cochise neither understood, nor trusted. He didn’t particularly like Crook, but he did see the General as a man of his word. The feeling was mutual.

Cochise would probably like the way in which his old redoubt, the Stronghold that bears his name, has been kept largely wild. There are horse camps and vacation cottages nearby, but the campsites that are set aside, for those who come to pay their respects to him, are primitive. Pack it in, pack it out, just as the Chiricahua people did.

I walked a short distance, from the Day Use trailhead, to the base of the Dragoons, and said quiet prayers to the Father of us all. Like Quanah Parker did, at the Sipapu in Palo Duro Canyon, nearly three years ago, Cochise communicated with me: “You are ever welcome at this place. Return, at length, when you are able, my son. For now, go in peace and harmony, and above all else, keep your word.”

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The ruggedness of Cochise Stronghold was soon replaced by the wild yapping of those whose owners call them the Heathen Hounds. Hacienda Ranch lies a fair stretch down towards the road from Vail Steak House, one of my homes away from home, when I’m down this way. The Heathens and their people came this way, from Oklahoma, about six months ago. These are hounds (chihuahuas) that like all such little critters, would gladly enjoy me as their breakfast. Bob and Tamy are of a different opinion regarding yours truly, and so I was given a fine lunch and a nice little guest room. So, I hailed the Heathens from the other room, and went off with Bob, exploring the low country, and a winding hill.

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After such a repast, the confluence of the Chihuahua and Sonoran Deserts called out pretty loudly There are no sahuaro, or yucca, in this transition zone, but everything else is here, including the javelina and coyotes.

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Bob and I went a bushwackin’ through the scrub, and found this seasonal tank. He thinks a larger one lies just to the west of this one. Maybe on a future jaunt, one or both of us will find it.SAM_3513

The scene is recorded for posterity.SAM_3514

These next scenes are from the winding road up a nearby hill.SAM_3516 SAM_3519SAM_3517 SAM_3521

In the absence of sahuaro, the ocotillo take full advantage. The dogs didn’t take advantage of me, but even if they tried, I’d have been loved to death.

This Christmas Eve was spent watching a rebroadcast of A Christmas Story 2″, which bored me to tears, and . another, of “Pearl Harbor”, which delivered the full horror of that awful day. One element of surprise, though, led to another, and as Admiral Yamamoto said, the sleeping giant had been awoken.

The Road to 65, Mile 23: A Very Full Solstice, Part 1

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December 21, 2014, El Morro, NM-I don’t think I’ve made such a big deal about the December Solstice before.  Penny and I would have chai and watch the moon rise, with a group of Phoenix- area or Prescott- area Wiccans, but since her passing, it took me until this year to include the occasion in my life, in a meaningful way. (I use the term December Solstice, because the longest day is a great celebration for the indigenous people across the Southern Hemisphere, and I tire of seeing them left out of the celebratory messages.)

Today started with a marvelous shower and gradual wakening, by 7:30 AM, in my comfortable cabin, “Deer Cabin”. I was informed that breakfast would be served from 9-12, so there was plenty of time for me to take a few winter photos and pray for many people and situations. I posted a few of these on FB, but here are some scenes of the El Morro Lodge and Ancient Way Cafe.

First, here is the interior of Deer Cabin.

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Here’s the exterior.SAM_3257

Ancient Way Cafe was founded by a spiritual mentor who is known as Red Wulf. He paid us a visit at breakfast, but stressed “I’m not here”, as he is officially on sabbatical, until April, 2015. Several other local characters also gathered for breakfast. I selected “Donald’s Breakfast”, a hearty farmer’s breakfast ,which is fitting, since Donald is a self-sufficient organic farmer. He was present this morning, at the table next to mine, along with several members of Red Wulf’s spiritual circle, Wave Riders of the Ancient Way. They’ve been here since the 1970’s, as have many counterculture groups, around the Southwest.

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SAM_3261Hanging chilis are a symbol of welcome in New Mexico, and I certainly felt welcome.  The Wave Riders did not wish to be photographed. Many of them were quite exhausted from having attended an event at a gallery across the highway, until 2 AM. Our cook was one of them but fortunately he was rested enough to do a good job.

I checked out at 10:30, and headed up the road to El Morro National Monument. The place is distinctive in three aspects: Geologically, archaeologically and graphically. I will show photos of the geological aspect first. El Morro, Spanish for “The Headland”, is made of largely striated sandstone. Wind, water and lichen are breaking the sandstone down. Many, like the NPS film’s narrator, the actor, Edward James Olmos, bemoan this process. The National Park Service is trying to shore up the ruins, as we’ll see. The big picture, though, is that nature was here first, and will fulfill her mission, one way or another. Notice that there are pinon pines, and one-seed junipers, mixed throughout the park. A smattering of Ponderosa pines have grown on top of El Morro Mesa. The trees also break down the rock, by sending out roots.

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So, you can see the majesty of the sandstone massif, plus the effects of wind, water, lichen and tree roots, on the great structure. In the next post, “Mile 23.5”, I will address the human legacy of El Morro.

The Road to 65, Day 21: White Horses, Black Hearts

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December 19, 2014, Prescott- Much has been said, all over the place lately, about the Congressional Report on Torture, and about the North Korean reaction to “The Interview”, a Sony feature film about…. North Korea. As is often the case on social media, people are bickering, squawking, yelling at each other, breaking out flame throwers, and just about anything else that can be done to silence those of opposing viewpoints, on both matters- as well as such arresting topics as “What should Celebrity X have named her new baby?”

I have dear friends on both sides of each issue, and some who are on both sides, depending on which cactus patch into which they stumbled, in the dark, on the way to the theater. My own take on each subject, seriously, is as follows:

IS (Islamic State), is the acronym which I will use to identify the current group of flaming imbeciles who are now practicing to be members of the Society for Creative Anachronism. ( I have a young friend named Isis, and I feel badly for her having to sit through her high school Channel One sessions). Anyone who beheads, rapes, dismembers or otherwise deprives another human being of his/her God-given rights, purely on ideological grounds, does not deserve to take part in the life of society. No Prophet of God ever said otherwise, although there are some who believe that They did. I believe that the death penalty should apply in severe cases, such as mass murder, beheading, child rape and armed attacks on schools. This penalty should be imposed by the State, not by individuals, and is the State’s bounden duty.

In the meantime, however, torture by individual agents of government is a false means to security. Here’s why: Many of those tortured over the past ten or twelve years have snidely provided false information. Most recently, a bogus tip given the U.S. Government about American and South African hostages in Yemen resulted in the slayings of those hostages. The tip was a result of torture. We live in a dangerous world, yes, but lowering ourselves to methods used by Torquemada and Himmler will not prove reliable, over time.

“The Interview” is an inane movie. I don’t care in the least for the policies and behaviours of the North Korean elite, but the likelihood of regime change through assassination is relatively small. Nonetheless, our Constitution says that people have the right to express themselves freely. So, despite the ridiculous content of the film, people, in this country, should be able to watch “The Interview”, if they so choose. I hope it at least goes straight to video. Either way, I will ignore it, but I will defend to the death YOUR right to pay it ,some mind. After all, no one from Texas hacked the studio that produced the film about killing Dubya.

The Road to 65, Mile 20: Now, Then

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December 18, 2014, Prescott- I found out, early this morning, that someone had pushed the wrong button, in the course of my last financial transaction. The deposit which should have been posted yesterday, never made it. This will slightly alter my spiritual journey to western New Mexico, which I had planned on starting Friday night. No matter, I will get a good night’s sleep here, and most likely be able to set out on Saturday morning.

Zuni, where Penny and I first met, in December, 1980, is first on my itinerary. El Morro National Monument, near there, is next, and I will head, in succession, to Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge, where we went crane watching, Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument and Silver City, which we wanted to visit, but never did, Cochise Stronghold (one of my favourite meditation spots), and Tucson, where a few friends await.

Christmas weekend will find me at the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, where I have spent each of the past twenty-two years, save 1997. It is a good place for spiritual regeneration, and coming on the heals of my time in the forests of western New Mexico and the serene desert near Vail and Avra Valley, it represents a double dose. Of course, the crowds at GCBC are large, but I draw energy from the youth, and regard many of them as friends. I have watched so many grow up from infancy, in the time I’ve been back in Arizona. Now, they are taking on the world, on their own terms.

I sat down this morning with several of the Red Cross Disaster Response Team members, with whom I would be working, if chosen for the position mentioned earlier. There is a plethora of detail to be worked out, each time a disaster happens. Good thing there is no I in team. It is nice to be an active member of a team handling somewhat chaotic emergencies. There is a reason for everything.

This evening gave me an hour’s worth of study on Essential Oils, vis-a-vis women’s health issues. It is also going to come in handy, and this area was not something with which I had much familiarity, until now. That goes to show, in this day and age, an old dog had best learn new tricks, and skills, without hesitation.

The Road to 65, Mile 19: Green Chili and Coconut-Fennel Cookies

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December 17, 2014, Phoenix- I could not really explain to the befuddled police officer why I slightly strayed over the broken lane line, on one of Prescott’s main streets, this morning. I certainly wasn’t DWI- haven’t had a drink in 33 years, and I’m not on any meds. I was feeling a bit woozy, though, so his pulling me over, mostly, it seemed, out of boredom, was a good thing. I didn’t get anything more than a verbal caution, which nonetheless forced me to refocus on the here and now.

I bought the cookie sheet I needed, went home and baked 1 1/2 dozen cookies, made with spelt flour, aluminum-free baking powder, a cage-free egg, fractionated coconut oil,shredded coconut, coconut sugar (unrefined), fennel and lemon oil. The process of finding the cookie sheet, police encounter included, took one hour. The mixing of ingredients and baking of the cookies took 25 minutes.

I took the goodies down to a Red Cross luncheon in Phoenix. It was a well-catered, Mexican food affair, to which the HR director and I were the last to arrive. No matter; I missed the enchiladas, but had a good plateful of everything else. I also got to watch the latter part of a white-elephant gift exchange, always good for a few laughs. Once all was done, I offered my cookies to the group, as they headed back to their desks. Each one who took a bite said the cookie was fabulous.  Mission achieved!

After ascertaining from the HR Director that nothing more would be done, vis-a-vis the position for which I’m applying, until after New Year’s, I gassed up and headed back to Prescott. This is the way of it: The tasks which I undertake might involve driving 100 miles, for thirty minutes worth of, or they might mean walking five minutes, and spending five hours at a small desk.

I’ve drawn the conclusion that it is all a matter of focusing on the what, the why and the who. The how usually makes itself known, in process. There is nothing too small or mundane, too grand or exotic. There is no one too obscure, or overarching, in importance. There is nothing too simple, or complex, in rationale. All tasks end up equal in importance, in the end, as all tie together to make this series of events we call a life.

I will, no doubt, make more cookies, before the week is out. There is another gathering on Friday evening, and before that, a friend or two to visit here in town. Each one counts as much as the other, differing only in the intensity, and nature, of our relationship. That’s how it is with a widower: Those who fill the world, after one’s beloved departs for a purely spiritual presence, are loved strictly for their inherent humanity. Ulterior motives serve no good purpose, and I have thus discarded them. In the ensuing bliss, green chili is as good as its red cousin and cookies flavoured with essential oils are a joyful contribution.

The Road to 65, Mile 18: Sticks and Bricks

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December 16, 2014, Prescott-Today was a whirlwind, even though there is no work this week, due to the approaching holidays. Synchronicity, which is a fact of life for most of us, had me at a Slow Food gathering, which I had to leave early, so as to get back home for an online meeting. Before that, there was laundry to get done, family cards to write out and send, and a bit of shopping to get ingredients for my cookie-baking exercise, tomorrow morning.

How men and women treat one another is much on my mind. I have known women who were abused by men, men who were abused by women, and those who trade abuse back and forth, like a flaming potato. The old saw about hurting people who hurt people keeps singing my heart.

Penny and I had differences of opinion, misunderstandings and “cool-down” periods, throughout our 29 years together. We never, once, struck one another, never spent a day apart, and never slept separately out of hurt or anger. I guess the whole idea was that nothing individual was more important than the unit that was our pairing, and then the family that started with the conception of our son, in October, 1987, cemented by his birth nine months later.

When there are disagreements between my friends, be they online or real time, I hold back from choosing sides. I do not, once, favour a person who chooses violence as a way to solve a dispute. I can’t go along with subterfuge, either. All parties involved are still in the world, and both have growing to do, as I did when I was a young husband, as my wife did- and all four of our parents, before us. I will support each friend separately, and all of them collectively- if they work towards resolution. Sticks and bricks hurt, when they are thrown, rather than used to build structures.

The Road to 65, Mile 17: The Office Party

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December 15, 2014, Prescott- Yesterday evening, I attended a Red Cross office Christmas Party, at the lovely home of one of the lead volunteers. It was about seven miles out in the country, and the home was both modern and cozy. I haven’t attended very many office gatherings, over the years, but I have embarrassed myself only once, back in the drinking-problem days, when I was first in Graduate School. Since then, it’s been a nice learning curve of honour and respect.

We had a nice assortment of foods, and I brought my bubbly cranberry (non-alcoholic). The two dogs present kept us on our toes, vis-a-vis placement of food. Several photos were taken, and I was not in any of them- being just happy to converse with several people, on a variety of topics. The party game was “Jenga”, of which I opted out, being of not the greatest fine-motor coordination. I am applying for a position within our office, so hopefully my not playing won’t prove to be this year’s equivalent of “You didn’t drink the boss’s brand of beer.”

This brings me to the position. I have looked over the specs for this job, and I have a vision for it, which I will lay out, first on the application, and later, with my wider audience. One of my siblings once upbraided me for rarely delivering on my promises, in the work world. He was largely correct, but I did, in the 1990’s, implement and administer a Comprehensive, Competency-based Guidance program. Sure, it was part of a national trend, yet the teachers and I made it work, tailored to our school’s local conditions. I can do that again. Being much better at playing well with others than I used to be, is a big deal.

The new position would revamp my plans for the next six years or so. I would free-lance travel a lot less, but the stability would make my eventual journeys a whole lot more comfortable, when they happen. I would definitely be out and about, a lot, though, in my territory of northwestern Arizona. A good life involves a series of adjustments, and many of those are self-determined.