Enjoy the Silence

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February 10, 2024- The young stock clerk asked me if I were a professor, at one of the local universities. I answered in the negative, whereupon she told me a have a doppelganger who teaches aeronautics. Such a small world.

I was awakened, this morning, by a soft spirit voice: ”Open your eyes; open your eyes”. I did so, at 4:44 a.m., and got up, starting my day. The first thought was-“Maybe something has happened, to a loved one.” Nothing happened. I was up, awake, in a silent neighbourhood, with no urgent messages on my phone or on social media. What the spirit voice was trying to convey is still unclear, sixteen hours later.

I ran out of steam, right around the time that a community meeting was halfway finished, and a friend had to nudge me awake. This is due to having run out of Lifelong Vitality Supplements, which seem to be the only thing, other than coffee, that help me stay awake through meetings of any kind. Funny, but when I have to be physically active, there is no fatigue setting in. 

There is a sudden quiet on the volunteer front, as well. Both Farmers Market and the local Red Cross office have decided my services are not needed, at least for a while. Some of this is push back for being enamoured of someone who lives far away-as if that is any of the paid staff’s business, or anyone else’s, for that matter. Lord knows, I haven’t made a big deal of my private life. There are other issues, with Red Cross, but those, too, are superfluous to my effectiveness as a volunteer. Life will go on.

As recently as two years ago, I probably would have had a meltdown over this turn of events. This evening, the choice was to go for a modest workout at Planet Fitness, observe Lunar New Year with an Ubon dinner at an Asian & Hawaiian restaurant, and stock up further at Trader Joe’s. This was sparked by the commentary on an online conference, presented by the Space in One World network, which seeks to establish commonality between people. The speakers made many valid points, with two sticking out as apropos to my present status: 1. It is time to work with people one may not like; 2. When one door, or several, close, it is crucial to look for those that are still open.

The stock clerk, at Trader Joe’s, also made my day.

Looney Tunes

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February 8, 2024- I love February, in spite of itself. I love it, despite the lingering cold, the slowly receding dark and the icy roads of morning and late night. I love the second calendar month because we humans respond to dreariness, with festivity: Lunar New Year, Super Bowl Sunday,Mardi Gras (I will never willingly say “Fat Tuesday”, anymore than I would say “plastic silverware”, “six-month anniversary” or “Feb-yoo-ery”. -but that’s me.), Valentine’s Day, and Ayyam-i-Ha (Days of God’s Essence, or Intercalary Days), which are the Baha’i gift giving period. This last is called Intercalary Days, because the Baha’i devotional calendar consists of nineteen months, with nineteen days each. That leaves four days (five, in a Leap Year), at the end of the year. 

It is also a month when I see an increase in behaviour, of the kind that the late President Reagan would call “Looney Tunes”. Maybe it’s a reaction to lingering cold, slowly receding darkness, icy roads, or All-American malapropisms, but I have to ask: Why insist on driving 60 mph, in the dark, on an icy 35 mph road, with heavy snow coming down? Why refuse to shovel one’s section of sidewalk, or at least have someone else do it, when there is 5-6 inches of snow on it, and the Sun isn’t coming out for quite a while? Why make such a furious mess about Taylor Swift?, and my fave-Why go against your own bill that would restore some sense of order to the Mexican border?

I will leave those questions, and the proper pronunciation of “February”, to those with intelligence quotients that are several points higher than my own-people like Taylor Swift, for example.

On a more serious note: My sincerest wishes that there be a dry period in California, so that our western neighbours can get on with repairs to roads, bridges and beach fronts.

It’s Snow Barrier

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February 7, 2024- I got up this morning, right at 5 a.m., and checked online messages. Although there was nearly a foot of snow on the ground, at Home Base, the school district where I was to work today had not completed its safety assessment, meaning that schools were still technically going to be in session today. So, I got ready to go in, went through my morning routine-then got a message that school would be delayed two hours. I laid down and drifted off to sleep. When I got up, forty minutes later, the snow was still coming down, and another message informed me that school was canceled for the day.

Reading and replying to a message from my dear friend, across the ocean, and going through some posts online took up part of the morning. I joined the apartment manager’s husband, to shovel the driveway, then went downtown for lunch, as I had not been to County Seat, since their hours had been cut back for the winter. They have an amazing Reuben.  Back at Home Base, after lunch, I finished clearing the upper driveway and the lower parking stalls. 

It has been a quiet afternoon, with the prospect for working tomorrow as scheduled, 50/50. More snow is expected overnight. Landslides have caused havoc in California, from this storm, and in Mindanao, Philippines, from slight tremors, that have nothing to do with precipitation. It is the dry season in the western Pacific.

The last note I got today was from the Farmers Market staff, giving me three weeks off, as new workers are being trained in the whole operation, which includes Breakdown. Other things are popping up, to take up the slack, so it all works out.

Simply Put

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February 6, 2024- “Do not tell me ‘No’.”, the precocious five-year-old stated. So, I did what any sensible adult would do. ”No”, was all I said- and he wasn’t asking where a man might find a bed. He got the point and went off to engage in an activity that was within the bounds of the class’s purview.  I had not worked with Pre-schoolers, in eight years. The instructional day hasn’t changed much: 3-year-olds in the morning and 4-5 year-olds in the afternoon. There are 5 adults working in the morning, and 3 in the afternoon. We locked the doors to the closet, to the cleaning supply cabinet and to the hallway. A couple of kids cried, when they didn’t get their way, and I showed one of them how to resolve the triggering issue, without melting down. At day’s end, it was still raining, so we walked the bus riders through a completely enclosed route and to their designated vehicles-keeping very sharp eyes on our little charges, all the way. Yes, school has been in session for six months, but small children are small children, and I retain too many anecdotes, from over the years, of kids wandering off, going to the rest room without telling an adult or even falling asleep-on the wrong bus, and being left there, because the driver had checked off all his “regular” riders, and hadn’t checked the actual seats. The angry father all but made the Superintendent go to the bus yard, when his little girl didn’t come home, as expected.

Simply put, no stone is left unturned, anymore, when it comes to child safety, and parental nerves.

California was pummeled, again today, and will be, into tomorrow, as another Atmospheric River soaks the region, from Ensenada to the Lost Coast and from Los Angeles to the Colorado River. This, of course, means Arizona and Nevada are getting their share of wet. It rained all day, here, and now it is snowing, briskly, with six inches on the ground,as I write this, and lots more to come, overnight. I pray that friends and family in California and Nevada are safe-and that we, here, also keep clear of harm’s way.

Simply put, Mother Nature is scolding us, for the self-centeredness of all too many, who disregard her warnings.

It Does Not Belong

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February 5,2024- The regular teacher, and several students, warned me about two of their classmates, among the after-lunch bunch. Classes that meet, right after lunch and recess, are often the most difficult of the day-mainly because there is still this energy that children and teens don’t know how to expend. It also happens that scheduling staffers pack larger numbers of people into the afternoon classes, either right after lunch or the very last hour of the day.

So, how did things go? The class worked as hard as the others. The two “terrors” did what they were expected, by me, to do-their assigned work. I did not see any difference between them and the best-behaved of their classmates, and told them so. It will, hopefully, give everyone pause, before-as I said yesterday- jumping to conclusions with scant parkour skills.

This evening, I read of seven migrants, whose legal presence in the U.S. is questionable, having been witnessed attacking New York Police officers, getting booked and then being released, forthwith. One of them was observed exercising his First Amendment right to free speech. I’m not sure that non-citizens can claim Constitutional rights. They have Human Rights, certainly, but U.S. Constitutional rights apply solely to U.S. citizens. 

 Assaulting a medical professional, in the performance of his/her duty, is a felony in at least 30 states. Assaulting a medical professional in a Federal hospital is a Federal felony. Assaulting a Federal law enforcement agent is a Federal felony. Assaulting a State or municipal Peace Officer is, as I understand it, a felony in every state in the Union. In New York State, these are the provisions: https://fastlawpc.com/assault-on-police-officer/

It is believed that four of the seven men accused, but released, have hopped a bus to California. Here’s a thought: These miscreants belong in prison. We don’t, in reality, live in a world where people can beat those who expect them to obey the law, and turn around and just be set free by other officials who think the system is unjust. It is unjust to let people act like wild animals and just pat them on the head. Truth be known, a wild animal will be more likely to go its own way than would a violent mobster. 

Further, anyone visiting a country, in which he or she is not a citizen, owes respect for the laws of that country. I would like to see an International Code, where a citizen of anygivennation who assaults a police officer of a country he or she is visiting is subject to prosecution by an officer of the International Criminal Court. It means more bureaucracy, sure, but the days when one can just go across a border and wreak havoc belong in the dust bin of history. 

I have visited Canada, Mexico, Guyana, England, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Israel, the West Bank, South Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Vietnam, and Australia. In each nation, the laws were clear and reasonable. Granted, I was legally admitted, on either a tourist or employment visa, and therefore not engaged in illegal activity-but I expected that the laws of the country would apply to me, as to anyone else-citizen or visitor, and conducted myself accordingly.

Excusing violent behaviour does not belong in this world. I would not have excused violence from the above-mentioned students, and they knew it. People coming into this country, or any country, need to be set straight. The ignoble seven need to be made examples, re-arrested, tried, and if found guilty, punished as befits their crimes. It’s just better for their souls.

Strat Fail

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February 4,2024- One can never tell about other people, each and every time they are encountered. Growing up, and into adulthood, several of my male friends operated on the premise: “She’s above your level” or “She’s in a different league.” I often wondered about very attractive girls and women, especially as to “Do they really see themselves as above certain guys?” There were a couple of snooty women, when I was in Community College, but I left them to themselves and pursued other friendships. 

Stratification tends to fail, in the long run. Each of us should be okay with choosing who we date, court and marry. Settling for anyone who comes along is not fair, either to self or to the one with whom one is “making do”. Neither, though, is being so selective that virtually no one can meet one’s criteria. I was plenty happy with my wife of 29 years, though neither of us were close to perfection. I was not expecting to meet Penny, when I did. I was not expecting to lose her to disease, either. Fast forward, 12.5 years, and I wasn’t expecting to meet K, a few months ago, but I did. Attraction sure is a funny thing, and it can lead to some beautiful results, so long as both parties keep things in perspective. The way in which relationships develop depends entirely on how much respect and compassion each person has for the other’s life experience.

These thoughts came into my mind, when I spoke with a young friend, who is like a daughter to me. Uncertain about her social life, and drifting along, she has fallen into a pattern of over-reacting to other people. In the few minutes she had to speak with me, I conveyed the message that she has first to see herself as worthy of respect and love. Men will pick up on where a woman is, in terms of self-esteem-and the wrong ones will take full advantage. It works that way, conversely, as well. Wreck-it-Ralph and Ravaging Rita are two sides of the same coin. There is, finally, the caveat about not assuming things about people, based on random observations. Generally speaking, one who is given to jumping to conclusions had better make sure the parkour skills are up to speed.

Yes, I Can See

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February 3, 2024-“Can’t you see, oh, can’t you see, what that woman, Lord, been doin’ to me”– Toy Caldwell, for The Marshall Tucker Band, 1973.

Women have not been doing things to me, ever. They have either done things with me, or, in a very few instances, against me-but not to me. Likewise, I can’t say I have ever done things to anyone, female or male. My mother has only offered love, guidance (sometimes harsh) and support (often masked as a hands-off approach, giving me room to grow). My sister by blood was my first friend, and is still one of my most fervent cheerleaders. My late wife, Penny, loved me with a passion, even through times when my ego was finding its footing, and I loved her back, even through-especially through-her fading last years. 

A vast army of female friends, some as sisters, others as daughters and nieces, have arisen to support me and walk by my side, in the years since I found myself on my own. Sisters, both older and younger, with names like Janet, Valerie, Vicki, Jean, Ylona, Norlie, Tammy,Jennifer, Leah, Christina, Jacque, JayLene, Melissa, Judy, Michele, Graciela, Ks, Susan, Pam, Debra, Akuura, Kathy McF, Laureen and Marcia; daughters and nieces, both of blood and of spirit, with names like Christy, Mariela, Jackie, Brittney, Christina, Annie, Yunhee, Melanie, Rebecca, Dawne, Marina and Casey-each have been steadfast friends. 

Walking with them, and with me, is my Beloved, someone who seems to have understood me from the day we met, four months ago, and with whom I feel a preternatural fit, much like I felt with Penny. I can’t express in words alone, how grateful I am for her presence in my life. I will love her, deeply, as long as I live on this Earth-and beyond.

So, with all due respect to Toy and the guys, women have only been a blessing in my world. Those few who have given me grief, and who are never going to be mentioned by name, on this blog site, have at least taught me to tighten up on my own behaviour.

Yes, I can see, and I love you all.

Useful Metrics, from A Brief Job

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February 2,2024- Today was Imbolc, a day of spiritual renewal for Naturists and Wiccans, some of whom are my friends. While the origins of their Faiths are found in the mists of time, many of their guiding principles go along with those of more recently revealed Faiths, including Baha’i. Not the least of these shared principles is the Golden Rule, the real one, that states “Treat others as you wish to be treated.” It was also Groundhog Day, and there will, apparently, be six more weeks of winter, since Phil didn’t see his shadow.

I spent the morning with two groups of Freshman Success students, who were mainly occupied with things like Typing Tests, real world skills-like how to buy a car and, of course, teen life. One savvy teacher has a set of metrics posted on her wall. These include: ”Listening, Being respectful, Fairness,Nicety,Kindness, Appropriate conduct,No put-downs, Effort and Honesty.” I intend to keep a record of my own performance, in those areas.

There was another set of metrics, in poster form, on a closet door, adjacent to the teacher’s desk. Here they are: ”Be yourself; think young; laugh often; forgive quickly; be happy; love deeply; dream big; take chances; be grateful; have no regrets; play hard; be spontaneous; let go; never give up.” I have practiced most of these, at least as an adult-and gotten better at several. 

Having shared all this with my most treasured friend, I bring these into my wider circle. Anyone is welcome to point out when you see me lapsing-just remember to be constructive. It was a pleasant start to Hiking Buddy’s birthday weekend, this evening, with a dinner at a small fine dining establishment, called BigA (pronounced big-uh). The fresh ingredients were delectably put together, for both of our meals.

Weather, work and even a stuck red light were no impediments. Imbolc was a fine day.

Past the Clouds

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February 1, 2024- Five people, clad in dark colours, were walking past my driveway, right as I was heading to work, this morning. I didn’t make a wide turn, thankfully, and kept on with the commute. There were a sizable number of people on the road, while it was still a bit early for rush hour. Being alert is never optional.

The clouds dissipated enough, as the sun rose, and the three classes I covered were pretty straightforward. In the third class, I had to rattle my brain a bit, to remember the right way of determining the area of a triangle, when given the lengths of two sides, and the top angle measure’s sine. That requires looking the sine up in a trigonometric table-which was fresh in the students’ minds, but had faded from my memory. Fortunately, they all just worked the assignment, while I quietly brushed up on it, in case I need to cover that class tomorrow.

Recalling that this year is one of not ducking challenges, I found self in a calm and happy mood, going back to Home Base. I later sat through a Red Cross meeting, at which I was not entirely welcome, and, with rain coming down in buckets, earlier this evening, sat out a potentially raucous community meeting. Being bold does not mean being intrusive, or reckless.

This brings me to the feelings that I have for someone who lives far away from here. The friendship is not something that will surge ahead, by leaps and bounds. It is something that will be built, carefully, with sensitivity and being supportive of the lady’s independence and personal sensibilities. 

Boldness and decisiveness do not dovetail with acting like the bull moose of the woods.

Habit, or Potential

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January 31, 2024- As I woke from a disturbing dream, this morning, I realized that I was not driving through gale force winds or microgusts, that there was no Mexican farm woman being propelled by such gusts, towards my vehicle and that I was not at risk of hurting her, or anyone else. My habit, after such dreams, has been to engage in what-ifs and self-doubts. I would not let that happen, today.

My cosmic advisor, Elizabeth Peru, talked about the choice we each have, this year, with its Eight Universal energy that is action-focused. We can act out of habit-thus invoking the Irish admonition, “Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” We can, conversely, act based on our potential-and show what we can truly offer humanity.

The year began with my going back to Blue Collar roots, and pushing myself to drive through snow, to Ghost Ranch, and doing the noble work of a tradesman, step-by-step, not cutting corners and above all, not doubting my capabilities. I fashioned a heart, from soapstone, to send to a beloved friend, next month. The rest of January has been more quotidian, but the year ahead is filled with opportunities to make the choice: Habit, or potential. I have an added incentive: A relationship to foster and tend. The habitual Gary would mess things up, through self-doubt. So, I am going with potential. The good woman I met, last Fall, deserves my best.

Elizabeth says that only one other year, in recorded history, has featured Eight Universal energy at the same time as a solar maximum is taking place. That year was 1979. Remember where you were, if you were born prior to 1974, or thereabouts. What was going on in your life? I recall that 1979 was the year that I truly started to get my act together-and began to really explore the West, transcend my comfort zone and stand up for myself, when attacked by a disgruntled former colleague. From that point on, I went back and forth, several times, between habit and potential. It has, however, mainly been an upward trajectory, with the plateau decade of 2000-09 nonetheless seeing a rise to the challenges of caretaking and facing down my personal demons.

This year will not be one of habit.