Category Archives: Assistance

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 27

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 17,2026- Wednesday is a longer day for Hana, as her parents carpool together. This means that her Daddy gets home later, since Mom is bound to wait until a certain time to clock out and works farther away than he does. He otherwise gets home about forty minutes before her.

I help Hana deal with this by spending more time with her, inside the playpen-just being there while she goes about her selected activities: Working to operate a set of levers that open little doors, where Sesame Street characters appear, doing her developmental exercises (grabbing her feet, while lying on her back; pushing herself up on all fours) and crawling about, with a towel draped over her back-almost like a shawl. She loves my reading her stories from the Marvel characters, Pete the Cat, Dr. Seuss and “Girl Power” stories, based on Disney characters, as well as English translations of simple children’s stories from Japan and China. Being so little, she probably would love anything I read her. Just the fact that Papa is here for her is everything.

The most amazing thing about Hana is her body clock. I will hear her on the monitor that I keep in my room-up and talking to her parents, at 5 a.m. That’s not exactly their idea of an alarm clock, but she is up and wants to have her diaper changed-or just be held. They make it work, just as parents have for thousands of years. She “reminds” me, when it’s time for a feeding-saying “Hey, okay” and extending her arm towards the kitchen. I am usually already on top of it, but having her feel responsible for her own well-being is a good thing. When she is tired, she has only to show frustration at something, and into Papa’s arms she goes- for a nap in the crib or with me in the rocking chair. Usually, she is out like a light in 10 seconds or less. This little girl works hard at her playtime.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 24

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

June 14,2026- Hana was shown a new puzzle today. It has wooden farm animals and a barn, which fit into spaces that also show a picture of each piece where it should go. She likes to take the pieces out of the puzzle. I will work with her, during the week, to associate one piece at a time with its proper spot, and try to get her to place it in that spot.

It was a nice quiet day for us, once her father got home early, after drill was concluded due to a power outage. That worked out nicely for Hana, who got that much more time to play with her Daddy. It would be too easy to figure that a pre-lingual child doesn’t miss a loved one, but we all know better-and besides, her parents miss her, too, during the week.

It rained hard, early this morning, but by 11, I was able to go and grab lunch for the three of us at Saved by the Bagel. Hana enjoyed beef and rice, with a side of pumpkin, all pureed, of course. We adults had cheeseburgers on bagels.

I read a memory that a friend had posted about my visit to his city, some years back. He has since married and moved to his wife’s town. When I next travel in that direction, I will be sure to pay them a visit. For the foreseeable future, though, I am happy where I am.

The Hungarian writer, Peter Dosa, has written of his emotional homes: Hungary,where he was born; Ireland, where he was raised and Barcelona, where he matured and where he still lives. I will offer a similar summation in tomorrow’s post.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 23

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

June 13, 2026– My most treasured little girl is asleep in her crib, as I sit her in my office space, watching her on the monitor. Her mother is out grocery shopping and her father is at Monthly Drill. I am in my element. Caring for this delightful child is almost a capstone.

While Hana and Yunhee hosted a friend from DHL and her 9-year-old daughter, I headed over to Plano’s Red Cross Donation Center and played host to about twenty blood donors. I also trained a 16-year-old high school Senior, who wants to study medicine. She will be a fine volunteer, probably mostly doing weekends, as I am. The need for such hosts, though, is pretty light during the summer months, as those senior citizens who are occupied with Substitute Teaching during the school year-as well as University students on break, tend to take the slots as soon as they open-fine by me, as it gives me weekends with family.

I watched a few more Dhar Mann videos, in between registrations. One, which was particularly interesting, was a bit dystopian. Eugenicists had taken over California, and had instituted a “culling” program, involving a standardized test. The son of the eugenicist Governor teamed with a student activist, and turned his father, and his school’s Headmaster, in to Federal authorities, just as they were about to initiate culling. Of course, this was another ‘feel good” story, with a last-minute happy ending, but it got me thinking. We always have a path to resist and overcome misfortune-and it is usually one that involves informed and diligent group action. That last-minute turn of events was preceded by a lot of research and documentation on the part of the students and one adult investigative reporter. So it may be with various challenges our society faces.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 22

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 12, 2026- Hana may well be a foodie. Her eyes lit up, and she sat forward, for each bite of solid food that I presented to her at lunchtime. She is definitely already a member of the Clean Plate Club.

She then burns it all off, working incessantly at little push-ups, and crawls around the play pen. She also likes to have her feet up in the air, grabbing them with opposite hands. Then comes the power nap.

We took a walk through Hoblitzelle Park, this morning. It wasn’t all that hot, but the humidity hung in the air. Hana abides the morning walk, but when I suggested going out again this afternoon, she was very firmly not interested. I checked the temperature-and my granddaughter had it right.

Instead, I put on a Beatles tune, “Bungalow Bill”, one of their sillier songs and mimed it, which she giggled at. I danced around with her afterward, to “Give Peace A Chance”. She lost interest, though, after the twelfth repetition of the title verse.

I was asked, recently, whether I will be traveling any time soon. Some people think that, as soon as Hana can walk, my work here should be done. No, it’ll be “done’ when she is independent enough (age 7 or 8) that my presence does not need to be 24/7. My granddaughter comes from sensitive stock, and needs to know that she is deeply loved.

I miss many people across the country and the world. Those who are true friends know that my work on her behalf is worth every minute. They also know that they will always have a special place in my heart. Hopefully, I’ll see many again. For now, there is social media and there is e-mail.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 21

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 11, 2026- While Hana napped, this morning, I called my second brother, on the occasion of his birthday, He has lived an extraordinary life, learning skills needed to navigate daily life, whilst legally, then virtually blind. He worked as head of Kayem Meats’ financial division, until his retirement a few years ago. He took part in Sail Blind, in the 2010s, and I had the honour of sitting in an observation boat, for one of their sails, off Newport, RI, in 2013. His sons are doing well in life, and his grandchildren are navigating life’s challenges to the best of their abilities. I have seen him as a role model, more than once, in my own checkered career.

Hana continues to show signs of which direction she may follow, in the years ahead. She is into neatness, wiping her mouth with a bib or cloth after every other bite. She is also working on self reliance-holding her own spoon and steadying her bottle with both hands-though I continue to “assist” in guiding both.. She likes to hold books and studies each page carefully, for several minutes. She does not want me to flip the pages too quickly.

While she was napping, this afternoon, she seemed to have had a nightmare, shrieking several times. I was able to calmly talk to her and held her to convey that everything was alright, and that it was just a bad dream. It took a while, maybe seven or eight minutes, before she finally stopped whimpering. It’s always hard to know what a pre-lingual person dreams about, but whatever it was must have been a doozy. I’m just glad to be here for her, in happy moments and in scary ones.

The Hana Chronicles, Month 5, Day 15

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 5, 2026- Granddaughter reveled, in eating pureed cabbage, this morning. She seems to revel in eating just about everything so far. (Zucchini being a question mark.) Hana is definitely a member of the Clean Plate Club, without being coaxed. If this persists through toddlerhood and the Fussy Eater years, so much the better.

Our day went well, with lots of independent play time in the pen, as well as Papa being in there, for the sake of reassurance and companionship. We explored a horseshoe-shaped side street, Chester Drive, which starts one block north and curves around to the east, behind our cul-de-sac. A young couple had just come back from Friday prayers, clad, head-to-toe in black. Otherwise, the street was quiet and empty. Hana didn’t mind the quietude.

As she napped, this afternoon, I read a piece about the Dutch director, Wim Wenders, who expressed regret for having depicted a certain actress in the nude, when she was only thirteen. He has removed the objectionable scenes from all versions of that film. The actress in question, now in her 60s, recently expressed how painful it has been, all these years, to have been so depicted in that film, and in two others a year, and three years, later. One hopes that the other two films may also be expunged of the tawdry scenes.

Many men, myself included for many years, gave scant thought to how it must have felt to girls and women baring all, in films, and even in glossy magazines. I knew better, by the time I was thirty, and Hana’s paternal grandmother had come into my life, along with the Baha’i teachings, which stress the dignity and worth of all human beings. Before that, there was always the double standard: A man’s (or boy’s) female relatives were held high above the world of sensuality. We respected our friends’ sisters and mothers also. There was a friend zone, which included a measure of respect, for the girls around us. Somehow, that did not extend to the world of “entertainment”.

More’s the pity. I started to take exception to the cavalier treatment of teenaged female actors, when very young girls were presented to audiences, in various states of deshabille. I did not watch any of those films, more out of shame over my past private thoughts and cavalier attitude. Then came Penny, our shared Faith and my career in education, which included the protection and guidance of girls and boys alike. There was no longer a double standard.

What this has to do with Hana is that, from Day One, her father and I are all the more committed to her well-being and development of her entire person. She is a sharp-eyed, intuitive person, making it all the more imperative for us to eschew any semblance of a double standard. Besides which, the old attitudes are just rotten for any man’s soul.

We are all so much more than eye candy.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 13

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, Hiking and Nature, Personal Values, service, Social, Striving

June3,2026- My granddaughter, Han, was born on December 22, 2025. I have been keeping people I care about informed of her milestones and growth, for the past many months-and since those milestones are my central concerns, I am recasting the title of this series of posts to reflect that.

We took our first grandfather and granddaughter solo walk, this afternoon. I put her securely in her stroller, with canopy and bug net firmly in place. We then went to the grounds of the nearby, out-of-session middle school and to a section of Hoblitzelle Park that lies nearby. We saw prairie cone flowers and standing cypress flowers by the yardful. There were also introduced columbines, in a yard along the way. We encountered a mother and baby, in a similar stroller near the park bench where I stopped and enjoyed a can of mineral water. Hana was nonplussed. She was taking in the fresh air and scenery, but was not as sociable as she usually is.

Back at the house, after our walk, we watched through the window, as city workers poured concrete on a reinforcement of a section of our cul-de-sac. I decided to read her a selection from a book of “Girl Power” stories. When I went to put her in her bouncy chair, she resisted a bit, arching her back and saying “No”-but in a quiet voice. When I explained to her that this was “Girl Power” story time, she relaxed and let me secure her in her seat. The story was about Moana, the Disney character, as a teenager. She liked the tale-and the pictures.

What she enjoys most, though, about our days together, is my being with her-holding her and rocking her when it meets her need for comfort, getting on hands and knees in the play pen, reading different stories and knowing just when she needs a diaper change. When is getting tired and frustrated, Papa is there to get her to the crib or even rock her to sleep and let her sleep on my shoulder..

I can’t think of a finer way to spend a day.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 3

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 24,2026- Hana began her transition to solid food in earnest today, A simple meal of rice porridge accompanied her liquid feedings. She was quite happy about this, and recognizes, on some level, that this puts her on the path to being a bigger child. Food items, pureed of course, will be added gradually, one food at a time, according to a nutritionist’s plan that her mother has adopted.

My granddaughter is generally a cheerful little girl, who laughs easily. She also has a serious side and when she is crawling towards something, she does not like being distracted. She puts her attention on doing a certain task-usually on pressing buttons on an educational toy, to elicit a spoken instruction or a little song, to the tune of which she will kick her legs, even while lying prone. She carefully lifts up a section of her crawling mat, to see what is underneath and examines the tags on a quilt or other fabric.

I want to help her build on both of these aspects of herself-the gregarious and mirthful, as well as the purposeful and focused. All three of us read to her, show her the pictures in the books and have her turn the pages, as much as she is willing to. If she wants to linger on a certain page and absorb the illustrations, that’s okay, too.

There is no day off, or holiday, in raising an infant or toddler. At the same time, it is a labour of joy. A solid human being is in the works. The days fly by; with the sameness of each day’s schedule intertwined with the growth that each new day brings. It’s said that this will all “be over” too soon. Maybe so, but in the interim, I will savour every step forward and every inch grown taller.

Transactional

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 23, 2026- Two people contacted me, earlier today-one for a small amount of financial assistance and the other, to cover a meeting tomorrow. In both cases, I had to decline. I have to tighten my belt, at least for a week or so, and family obligations conflict with the second request. Both were more understanding than I had expected-and will seek other options for their needs. There should be no one solution for any problem, no matter how “unexpected” it is. I have been in both situations, as well as far worse. Sometimes, family or friends have been able to help. Other times, i was on my own. I got through the situation.

I read, this morning, of a leading participant in the January 6, 2021 incident at the U.S. Capitol, who was complaining that his life was a mess because of his having been tried, found guilty and incarcerated for his involvement. Now, he is free, due to having been pardoned, but he wants money, with which to get a fresh start. Some wishes are best not granted, in the way they are requested. The money would have to come from Congress, and that body is not inclined to honour the request.

The surest way to overcome a transactional mentality-or even the appearance of being transactional, is to build a treasury of options. I have been the one with his hand out, often enough, to know how humiliating it feels, and how powerless. Yet, once again, I made it through. Loans were either paid off in full, or were forgiven. Being stuck somewhere, either a ride was arranged, I waited the night in place or, in a few instances, I walked to my destination. I have even bartered goods for services. There is always a solution.

Agency

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 21, 2026- Hana came up with a simple game today. In her play area, there is a multi-coloured arch. As I was in front of the arch, she pushed it gently towards my head. I nudged it back with my forehead. She pushed it towards me again, and I returned it. Back and forth, we did this, ten times. Then, she changed direction and began crawling towards her multi-tasking cube,with its alphabet blocks, animals making sounds and the numbers 1-10.

I let Aram have his own agency, in matters that did not present any safety risk. He learned, early on, that his opinions, and methods of doing simple tasks, were as valid as anyone else’s. I got some push back on that, from some family members, but I pointed out that no one of us can be around for him, all the time. He kept and grew his agency.

The three of us are equally at home with Hana having her ability to choose what she wants to do, within her play area. If she wants to leave the area and watch whoever is in the kitchen, from the safety of her bouncy chair nearby, she will look in that direction and focus on it, while babbling insistently. My granddaughter is curious over just about anything. She also notices when I have removed something that might be an attractive nuisance, and crawls towards the area to which I have moved it. The important thing, to me, is that she is processing what she sees and is making decisions about how to handle it. We will provide the safety and the guidance, but it will not come at the expense of her agency. When she can’t be allowed in a certain area or be near certain things, we will take that responsibility and explain to her, when she is old enough to understand.

There are two primary schools of thought about agency: Empowerment and acquiescence. The former seeks to build the decision-making capacity of the individual and teaches risk assessment, self-confidence and networking skills. The latter teaches trust in authority, deference and obedience.

Most of us use a mix of the two. This is especially true when one wants a child or underling to be able to make some decisions on their own, but does not see the value in either too much independence or in relegating oneself to an advisory role or mentorship. It depends a lot on one’s personal sense of security and self-confidence. I made the decisions that I did, regarding my son, with the conviction that he would honour his own agency. Life threw some curve balls at us, and in his teen years, the choices we made backfired somewhat, Fortunately, the military helped him, as it did me, and his agency is on track.

That brings me back to Hana. She is a bright little girl and seems to listen well, so I have confidence in giving her a limited measure of independence, based on her developmental level. This would include both limited choices and, once she can walk and talk, some small responsibilities.