Category Archives: Inner Struggles

Wednesday, the Thirteenth

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

May 13, 2020-

The day began with rough energy.  I reflected that negativity is often associated with Friday the 13th.  I have been, and remain, determined to not let negativity dominate my day-even on days when I have been dismissed from a position or facing the loss of a loved one.

I read the obituary of a childhood friend- the closest personal connection I have, thus far, to Coronavirusdisease2019.  A short time later, when I was preparing to do a routine task, the most basic step momentarily escaped me. I felt my friend’s energy and the step came to my consciousness.

By mid-morning, the negativity had passed.  I went to visit some friends who have a restaurant, in a small shopping center, on the edge of town.  They were on their third day back, after staying closed for sixty days.  They are very much people of the soil, of the ranch.  Thus, what you see is what you get-and no apologies.  I’ve always had an open heart for those who speak their own truth-not aimed AT others, in an ad hominem manner, but in an inclusive, welcoming fashion.  I always have a seat at their counter.

This evening, the draw has been to a Baha’i-oriented spiritual discussion, on Baha’u’llah’s meditiative work, The Seven Valleys and The Four Valleys.  I write this, whilst listening to a recording of a Zoom call that I missed early this afternoon.  It is from a gatheriong called Gaia Calling.  The meditation and the insights gained here are reinforcing various other spiritual sites, to which I’ve been drawn, especially during this time of widespread turmoil.

The moderator spoke of a “dance” between linear time (the Earth time, in which we operate) and organic time (the spiritual movement that has always been in play).  I feel this happening more now, than I ever have.  On “good” days and on “bad”, my feeling these days is far closer to natural rhythms, to Earth, to the Universe, to the Divine.

Setting the Bar

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 12, 2020-

My conversations with various people, last night and throughout today, have invariably featured goals they want to achieve, over the next several weeks and months.  One of my best friends here has set the goal of building a raised planter bed and showed me the frame she has made by herself- a very sturdy oblong planter, which should hold two or three crops, once filled.

This morning, around 11, I visited a small barbecue restaurant, on the second day of the re-opening of food establishments.  Tables are set six feet, or more, apart, with the goal being to not have to close up again, anytime soon.  Those who came in, while I was having lunch, were very respectful of the few requests the owners made.

My next order of business was to deliver a bottle of essential oil capsules to someone who is suffering a debilitating disease.  While at his wife’s establishment, she and a relative were discussing a goal relative to their own overall health- and devising a team plan to meet this objective.

I met my own goal of getting my hair cut, this afternoon.  The conversation, with the woman who was cutting my hair, centered on keeping children happy during the ongoing shutdown, which of course will continue into summer-a time that children normally are off, anyway.  In some circumstances, no one course of action can resolve an issue.  There will be some boredom and some grousing-but I have learned that, when I’ve been bored or listless, things come to me, as to what I might do and inventiveness is always a good skill to hone, in any mind.

I continue to set the bar high for myself, at least, and feel confident that this entire exercise in patience and perseverance will not be as wasteful as one individual, with whom I spoke early this morning , seems to believe.

Moving Right Along

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 11, 2020-  

I have observed, as life progresses, some things re-open and others maintain their COVID19 restrictions, that there is some fraying taking place.  Yesterday, on a Mother’s Day visit downtown, I stopped at a frozen yogurt establishment.  I took my place in line, behind a gentleman who was wearing a mask.  A mother with two boys in tow ignored the line and went to the ordering table.  There, she was immediately served, by the teenaged clerk. The mother looked up at the man glaring at her, from the head of the line, and offered a lame excuse  for having jumped ahead-something about being pre-occupied with the menu.  This further incensed the man, who asked to speak to the manager/owner. After registering his complaint, he called to the women who were with him and they left, sans treats.  I got my order in, and was actually served before the mother and sons.

Things are happening, as businesses re-open, in random order.  I went to my haircutting place, which re-opened today, and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.  I got my car washed, this afternoon, and was surprised to see that the lady who used to work at the dry cleaners, where I had been taking my winter coats, was now the attendant at the car wash.  Turns out, the dry cleaning shop had closed, due to a rent increase. So, my cleaning goes to another shop, on the north side of town.

Traffic has picked up, and with it, the presence of those who are not comfortable in traffic, and have to pass as many people as they can, as quickly as possible.  This will, of course, continue for quite a while.  Line jumping may happen, though here in Prescott, it is the exception, rather than the rule. There were 20 of us in line last night, for picking up take out orders.  A man who had a little boy in tow was allowed ahead of us, to use the establishment’s restroom, but all others took their places, without any fuss.  Then, there are those, at pick-up stations like the Farmers’ Market, last Saturday. who scoured the line of cars and served their friends first, leaving the rest of us to appeal to the market director.  There will be several such anomalies, as we move forward.  I pray that patience wins out.

Duality

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 30, 2020-

Part II, of “HAL and Griff” will appear on Saturday’s blog.  In the meantime:

We have, as is Americans’ wont, reached the Rim of the Grand Canyon.  Everyone is right, in the confines of their own silos, and whoever dares caution someone not to call for the firing, arrest, or DEATH, of another human being, who happens to be either suspected of wrongdoing or is the focus of exposes of various levels of veracity, is an unctious waste of DNA in his/her own right.  This speaks volumes about those who stand in judgment.

A few thoughts, then, from my own humble and fallible mind:

We each have a dual nature- There are things about which we are self-centered and “freedom-loving” and there are things about which we are supremely giving and kind.

I believe in the sanctity of life-from the moment of conception, AND I believe it is a mother’s place to decide what is done with her body, hopefully choosing adoption over abortion, but her informed decision, nonetheless-and no one else’s.

I believe that a community can and should take the stance that the lives of everyone-richest to poorest, of all ethnicities, genders,  ages and sexual orientations, are sacred, as well.  I believe that respect for everyone’s sensibilities, with regard to health, is just common courtesy.  I also believe that no one should be deprived of livelihood, for an open-ended period of time.  Staggered shifts have been proposed for school children- the same could conceivably work  for those whose jobs preclude work from home.  Ditto for using common sense, with regard to spacing of people whose infection status is unknown.

We are also in a state of flux, which I know is scary for many.  Humanity has been at this juncture before, when barbarian hordes have invaded their homelands.  A micororganism is not a barbarian, so there is the all-too-human tendency to turn one’s perceived opponent into said barbarian.  This, to me, is valuable time wasted.

It’s time to wake up, gear up and stand up-for the raising of a truly shining humanity.

In Whose Name?

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 28, 2020-

The current pandemic, like any previous crisis, has brought out the best and the worst of human nature.  There are those in this country who are convinced the ONLY reason that there is a big deal being made about COVID-19 is to keep their favoured candidate(s) for political office from winning.  Their opposites are saying pretty much the same thing about the handling of emergency funds. The bottom line: It’s about ME!

Yes, and no.  Every human being has to take stock of a situation, no matter how widespread or dire, with regard to his/her personal circumstances.  That’s fine, but then. the considerations must become more community-focused, then nation-focused, and, finally, globally-focused.  To their credit, there are people at all points along the political spectrum, and in all Faiths, who see the big picture.  Christians recognize that God is calling us all to the Altar.  Buddhists are having global chants via digital platforms. Muslims have, by and large, not insisted on in-house gatherings, during this season of Ramadan.  We Baha’is, likewise, are thriving with digital meetings, of various kinds, as well.  There are those, in both the conservative camp and the liberal camp, who resist the loud voices calling for “liberation” and defiance of any regulation, on the one hand, and for open-ended quarantine and forced digital identification, on the other.

The future course of action will be decided, in my humble opinion, by conditions that exist at the ground level.  I also feel, very strongly, that the length of the pandemic will be determined, to a huge extent, by how much of a community dedication there is to revamping the way we go about our community life.  Do we respect those who have no choice but to go to work?  Do we respect our children enough to find ways to honour their needs for exploration and activity-indeed, do we respect those needs in EVERYONE? Are we willing to stop the daily dogpiles on those who see things differently than we do, and just listen for once? Do we want to honour the health of our elders and those whose immune systems are compromised?

One of my advisers says that we are rapidly approaching a fork in the road, as to how our society, how all societies on Earth, will go forward.  There will be a choice between communal thinking, based on “the hurt of one is the hurt of all”, and a positive view of the future AND a greed-based, control-oriented mindset (seen on both right and left), with a cynical, negative view of this life.  I, for one, think the choice is quite clear.

The hurt of one IS the hurt of all.

Crossing The River

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 26,2020-

The forecast called for no more than two inches of rain, last week.

We planned to take the footbridge,

across the Avalon River.

Imagine everyone’s surprise,

when ten inches fell.

Officials told us,

to stay indoors,

as the flooding was uncontrollable,

and besides,

more rain was now

in the forecast.

Some headed out,

heedless of what

they regarded as

pointless interference.

Yet, the bridge was washed away.

A few took small boats.

Others tied one another to ropes,

and set out on foot.

Still others tried to swim across.

Then, there were those who

tried to pole vault,

or do parkour.

Some drowned,

others were thrown

against the rocks.

still others made it

across,

and developed hydrophobia.

I waited a week,

and saw the waters recede.

As I set out, life jacket in hand,

I heard the voices of  those

who stayed in their homes.

“Go back inside”, they shouted,

“there could be ten more inches,

next Tuesday!”

I kept on,

crossed in a sturdy boat,

and reached the opposite bank,

without incident.

(Tuesday came,

and brought three more inches

of rain.

In the aftermath,

the communities co-operated

and built a bridge,

string enough to withstand

a 1000-year deluge.)

 

Truth Be Told

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 25, 2020- 

Much in this world is discovered, up front, on a “need to know” basis.  We are both privacy-seeking and hierarchical creatures, by and large.  As a result, one, or more, of three things could happen:  1.  There is a small clique of people who know everything and dole out the facts of a matter, in dribs and drabs, if at all;  2.  A spokesperson, usually given a script, faces the public and either gives out facts in stages, or gives an opaque scenario-which may or may not even contain facts relevant to the case; 3.  A high-ranking member of an administrative team broadcasts both a large volume of information and goes off on tangents, designed to get the public to both blame the team’s perceived opponents and to go down one or more blind alleys and/or rabbit holes.

I’ve seen all three scenarios play out, over the past sixty years- at all levels of government, within families and civic organizations, and in corporations, both profit and non-profit.  I have been the recipient of untruths and have been asked to state untruths-for the “good of the order.”   I have had supervisors try to cover up wrongdoing, and have been dismissed from a post, for being too transparent.  The few times I was tempted to be dishonest myself, I proved unable to carry out the deception.  I have had someone try to throw up smoke and mirrors.  I outlasted the individual by a year, before voluntarily moving to another position.

People deserve to hear the truth, to the extent they can handle it.  They never deserve to hear a lie.  If there is information someone can’t handle, at a certain time, it is best held for a time when he or she CAN handle it.  Lying or deflecting is the stuff of a benign tyranny.  I see this being done by people all along the political spectrum, showing that people in power frequently have a very hard time trusting those who put them in power, in the first place.

There will be many changes coming out of this pandemic.  I hold out hope that a healing environment of truth and personal responsibility will be chief among them.

In Leaving, Before Her Time

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Posted by on in children, Community, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 14, 2020-

I did not know her,

only seeing her winsome,

joyful countenance

in a photo.

There was actually a mixture 

of joy and sorrow in her eyes.

I saw joy, at being with her father.

Her sorrow may have come

from knowing that not all

have such a loving family.

Now, the world has one less

loving soul.

Now, the being who was once

a treasured daughter and sister

can only look lovingly

at those on this side of the veil

and guide those who are open

to her spirit.

The above is in remembrance of a young adult in our community, who left this world, suddenly, last week.

There are so many upon whom I look as if they were my own children.  Their numbers just keep growing, with the passage of each year. They come from solid, loving homes or from broken, struggling households. They come from families of faith or from those for whom God is a scapegoat, if He is recognized at all. Yet, the feeling I have is the same,and as with my biological child, their suffering is my sorrow and their joys are my treasure.

 

The Long and the Short of It

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 11, 2020-

There are an ebb and a flow of sentiments about the current state of affairs on our shared planet.  People I  respect and admire are basing their decisions about what should happen in their jurisdictions on what is happening on the ground-and on what their local health care advisers are seeing as projected peaks of infection and hospitalization, in those jurisdcitions.  For some, who acted early, there may be cause to gradually ease restrictions.  For others, who have proceeded with extreme caution, owing to concerns about constitutional rights, there is a slow move towards amping up restrictions.

In the short term, I will remain in place, not traveling out of my Quad Cities (Prescott, Prescott Valley, Chino Valley, Dewey-Humboldt) area, and within it only to tend to such matters as basic purchases, some support of local restaurants and deliveries to needy families.  This, I see as necessary until at least May 31.  Others may be so stir crazy, that they break out and start moving around, after the end of April, but that’s their choice, not mine.

Longer term, I will be evaluating my choices, based on how things are on the ground, at the time.  I don’t plan on caving to any sort of pressure-whether to jump back into the old routines, as if nothing ever happened or to “get vaccinated, or else be confined to home, in perpetuity”.  This last is coming from those who have a lot to gain, financially, from a heavy schedule of vaccination (which MAY well contain such lovely elements as mercury, lead and arsenic).  There is also mention, from these same people, of the desirability of microchipping the citizenry, but that’s a fight that will be waged another day.  Any vaccination to which I agree will be safe, and limited in series.

I am not a conspiracy theorist, but neither am I a sheep.  In the days ahead, each of us will find ourselves more responsible than ever, in determining the course of our own lives.  Every premise on which our modern lives have been based, at least since the end of World War II, is now coming into question.  Some of our institutions will survive; others will not.  How well we arise and work together, regardless of ideology, creed or social status, will determine the long game’s outcome.

Endurance

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

April 7, 2020-

I have to say this:  I don’t believe that the current virus is a contrived conspiracy to break people’s spirits, so a tyrant can take over.  I have heard this very thing, in so many words, from across the political spectrum.  It’s become a “fill-in-the-blank” exercise, with everyone from the current U. S. President to the Boards of Directors of major pharmaceutical companies being blamed.

That said, the race to see who can postpone public events the furthest out is getting out of hand.  It is giving credence to conspiracy theorists, when the science (if there is any) behind delaying even small events,scheduled for August and September, until November, is not being explained to the people on the street.

If the confidence and cooperation of the public at large is what is desired, then they cannot be treated like mushrooms-kept in the dark, with a diet of dung.  Too many decisions are not communicated well.

I am a very patient man, but if our leaders want the public trust, more had better start explaining their decisions in a clear and concise manner.  People like Queen Elizabeth II and the Governor of Kentucky are able to explain harsh decisions clearly.  Let’s see more do the same.