December 30, 2017, Spring Hill-
I was scolded, a while ago.
Someone is furious,
that I said people who
learn from their mistakes
are winners.
Let’s revisit that one.
Everyone learns.
I am sometimes a slow learner,
my lessons might be repeated,
a dozen times or so.
Yet, I do learn.
I do, eventually, win.
That ought to satisfy
my enraged reader.
December 29, 2017, Spring Hill-
I have consolidated a couple of small holdings. Being well-insured, it is a small risk, that will take care of obligations. Historically, I have taken several risks, both great and small. Some, like an early involvement in stem-cell therapy, for Penny, proved to be of no benefit, and considerable loss. Others, such as my low-level involvement with do Terra Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, have given me long-term health benefits.
I have been roundly excoriated, a few times, for failure to deliver on my various projects. What I’ve learned from those failures, is that I went forward, without having understood all the ramifications and possible barriers to success. The lesson of 2017 is that, despite the mistakes I’ve made over the years, which have long lowered the opinions some family members and past associates have of me, I am still a worthwhile human being.
I have gained many friends, this year, as mentioned earlier. Friendships are never without risk, loss being first and foremost. Some online friends have drifted away, or become distant and standoffish. That will hardly keep me from being devoted to those who remain, or from making still more friends, in the days and months ahead.
As 2018 glimmers in the not-too-distant horizon, I sense there will be a cash flow, either from the source I described yesterday or from somewhere not yet evident. I will be a bit more cautious, and not drawn in by glamour or exuberance of others, yet neither will I shy from risk.
Fear of failure, or of scolding, is a thing of the past.
December 28, 2017, Spring Hill-
I have largely spent yesterday and today catching up on my fellow bloggers’ posts. There are so many, that it took me until a few minutes ago. Of course, that means there are other things going on- the life of my in-law family household, with Turner Classic Movies, a Rottweiler puppy, and the various people coming and going.
The other major thing occupying me is Digital Altitude. I first heard about it, two years ago, at a doTerra Winter Summit. Business training did not interest me at the time, because I looked only at my cash-poor state. A fellow blogger got me interested, though, not long ago, and I have plowed through the first 6 steps of ASPIRE, with two more steps coming tomorrow.
I could move forward further-and before year’s end, but for one thing: The residual effects of bankruptcy. The government released me from restrictions imposed by Chapter 11, in March of this year. The financial world is not so forgiving. The government restricts for seven years. Many lenders restrict for ten years. This keeps me from taking part in special deals offered by D.A.
Setbacks happen. I will not starve, be cast out on the street, become a social pariah, or even cry bitter tears, because of this development. The bankruptcy was due to the dire straits in which my late wife and I found ourselves, in 2010, after the high cost of her medical treatment and the subprime lending crisis found each other, and we made the questionable, but conventional, decision to seek lawful relief.
That’s where my TMI ends. I am still here, recovering financially (and Digital Altitude will be part of this recovery, albeit in SloMo, as will a redoubled effort in do Terra), and I am enjoying an increase in the number of real time and online friends. This year, now almost past, has seen my friendships with women deepen in quality and depth. It has seen my relationship with money become more appreciative, and also deeper. I have learned, anew, that setbacks are times to sit and learn lessons, in place, and without apprehension. I have learned the true benefits of being a valued member of a strong professional team.
2017 has not been the horror show that I nearly expected, at this time last year.
December 27, 2017, Spring Hill, Florida-
I will be here, or thereabouts, for the next five days. This week has usually been spent either in the cold of the Northeast or in sunny southern California. Florida, specifically, the edge of the Tampa Bay area, where Spring Hill is located, is SoCal, but with a lot more moisture. Last night’s rain has left the scent of the tropics, in its wake.
Back to my piece’s title: 2017 has taken me further out of my comfort zone than any year since 1981, when I first became half of a couple. It’s damned hard to get over doing everything by and for oneself, yet not so hard to go back to that frame of mind, when a relationship ends/takes a non-physical form. I can’t, however, just live for myself, anymore. The world is in too much a state of travail. So, I write this blog, almost daily, I volunteer for the Red Cross, when I can, work with disabled students during the academic year, and work for the wider world, through the Baha’i Faith and its propagation efforts.
Relationship-wise, I am heartened by the large number of friends (and I do see you as such) with whom I converse on social media. It is a leap for me, to converse with people I’ve never met, in a language other than English, but I am pushing myself to do this. It is not hard for me to turn down “friendship requests” on social media, from random young women, or people claiming to be young women (usually bots), given my age and their friend pool, if there even is one, consisting entirely of people I don’t know. For the record, I will befriend anyone who proves legitimate, and indeed have many friends and correspondents of both genders and of all ages.
Another transition I am starting to make is that of online entrepreneur. I am taking this one step at a time, will interrupt this post to take part in a conference call, momentarily, and, despite the somewhat uncertain attitude of my sponsor towards me, I feel like this time, my coach and I can make some headway.
Good call, and I made a leap over one gap in my comfort zone: Credit score, which is not as bad as I thought it might be. Another leap over my comfort zone’s fence is thus more likely in the weeks ahead. This is partly due to three changes that I have already engaged: Increasing my waking hours by 30-45 minutes, in the morning; taken on a full-time job; and overcoming several lingering doubts about my self-worth.
So, Having looked at life, from several sides now, in the year that is coming to a close, I am ready to be far more proactive, in several areas of my life, than in the past. There is more to sojourning, than travel, as much fun and as mind-expanding as that is.
December 13, 2017, Prescott-
Baha’u’llah tells us that each soul expresses a grain of truth. In the past several days, there has been much discussion, largely initiated by single men, regarding the push for gender equality.
I have responded to some of the posts and been somewhat rebuffed by the authors. My take, essentially, is that people should not be limited in their pursuits, their dreams, their achievements, by traditional gender roles. My identity as a man does not stand or fall on whether a woman, friend or not, can change a tire, rebuild an engine or run a Fortune 500 corporation, as well, or better, than a man could. My identity as a man does not depend on whether I have a lady on my arm, even as I find many women strikingly lovely.
I must, however, agree with some of the men who have posted. A human being’s relationship with any other human being is based on trust. Women and men are equally capable of maintaining trust, and are equally capable of violating trust. I have been in a couple of situations where I was the breaker of trust. That I was going through episodes of grief, in each case, does not excuse my behaviour and I have apologized, done as each person violated has asked, and moved on. In my friendships, over the past three years, I have been far more discerning and attentive to trust issues.
No one is entitled to respect, based on gender alone. Respect comes from maintaining good character, and that includes being trustworthy. A man had girlfriend begged off of their scheduled date, saying she didn’t feel well. She was later found to be having dinner with another man, that same evening. She said it was her prerogative, as a woman. Well, balderdash! She reaped the fruits of that choice, which was an end to her relationship with Man A.
There is an argument, making the rounds, that women prefer men who are coarse, who will rough them up if necessary, or at least be selfish and disgusting. My take on that is:
Such a woman is fundamentally looking for someone who is hard enough to perhaps safeguard her from the coarseness and meanness of the wider world. A nice guy makes a good friend, so the saying goes, but a mate must be willing to be a brute. My attitude is that a nice guy must also be strong in the face of adversity. Brutishness is a perversion of strength.
I practice goodness towards people, in general, but my mother did not raise any wimps. I stood up for my wife, as she did for me, and we stood up TO one another. I am loving, nurturing and supportive of my female friends, but the last time I checked, none of them needed a doormat. I am in their lives on their terms, and they are in my life, on mine.
The bottom line, in all this discussion, is PEOPLE need to be humane and considerate to other PEOPLE. PEOPLE should be strong and reliable, in the eyes of other PEOPLE. If a woman doesn’t respect a man, and vice versa, then what’s the point of their relationship? More basically, if one doesn’t think he/she deserves a strong, reliable, trustworthy mate, then he/she won’t find one.
December 1, 2017, Prescott-
Another writer on this network, having just also celebrated a birthday, detailed a lesson learned for each year of her life. Her post showed me that the adage, “Youth is wasted on the young”, is largely a fallacy. Youth may be at a disadvantage, regarding total life lessons, but working under a supervisor who is half my age, I find that the lessons she has absorbed are being put to full use. She is arguably the most competent, save one other, of the many under whom I have worked, over the past 40 years. Son has risen in rank, an average of once a year, for every year of his military service. Nieces and nephews, and their spouses, have each made themselves highly valuable in their chosen work.
It also follows that there is truth to : “There’s no fool like an old fool”. To be old AND foolish has nothing to do with dementia. It has to do with arrogance and an odd form of narcissism. So, now, we are seeing high and low alike being taken to the Village Woodshed, for being so arrogant as to build a lifestyle around deception, indiscipline and disrespect for others, based on their own proclivities.
I have not been free of transgressions against others, but when they have occurred, I have chosen the path of humility, submission to chastisement and atonement. It’s just been better this way. I can live, today, concerned about today’s tasks and planning for tomorrow, as needed. From each faux pas, a lesson has been derived, that has just made me a better human being.
I am grateful that the lessons learned have import for the times in which we live, and will continue to apply in days and years to come.
November 21, 2017, Prescott-
I was told that I am unqualified to work with international students.
This, after 5 years of working with Korean students, albeit 25-30 years ago, at the university level.
I have to remember, there are two types of unqualified: Under, and over.
The people running the corporation that minds these students prefer housewives and unemployed retirees, so I am underqualified, in those respects. They also prefer people who speak Mandarin, and I am definitely not filling that bill.
Getting smacked down by people of other points of view stings only as long as you let it.
My rebound is my writing, so I need to stop making excuses and set the time aside to put one or two books together. Even if sales are initially spotty, the money that comes in will equal whatever might have come from this other position. Besides, who knows? Circumstances in my life show signs of changing. Life might well have gotten in the way of working for the corporation. Everything happens for a reason.
November 18, 2017, Prescott-
Depending on who you ask,
Charles Manson is dead,
or “not dead, it’s a liberal hoax”.
Depending on who you ask,
Bill Clinton was a good President,
or a ravenous cad,
or maybe both.
Depending on who you ask,
Woody Allen was a fine filmmaker,
or a disgusting rake,
or, again, one and the same.
Both, and.
How many of us,
have transgressed,
against someone,
or many someones,
in the days of adolescence,
in times of emotional stress,
or of moral drift.
Is it a matter of degree,
or a matter of having
overcome and transcended,
the lower nature.
We all have duality.
Some refer to that
as Original Sin.
Others brush it off,
as “his peccadilloes”.
The fact remains,
when one transgresses
the bounds of good behaviour,
of kindness,
of respect,
of dignity,
someone else is hurt,
and often, grievously.
There are no free passes,
no pats on the head,
or “It’s okay, I’ll get over it.”
I’ve felt shame before,
and made amends,
the best I could.
It made no difference,
that they were words,
or mild gestures.
Hurt is hurt,
and I was/am
deeply sorry.
What about the others?
Are they sorry?
Have they,
will they,
make amends?
Has so and so,
who trolled young girls,
in the 1970’s and ’80’s,
been a chaste and loyal husband,
these past 30 years?
Has a man who dabbled in porn,
when his “beloved”
was asleep,
faced and overcome
his afflictive addiction?
Has a woman who preached
Faith, by day,
and romped with men,
by night,
at last chosen her Lord
over her lust?
Many famous names
have been bandied about,
of late.
Fame sheds light
on darkness,
but where are
those of us,
who live
lives that are
not public?
Are we knighted,
or benighted?
November 16, 2017, Prescott-
Today marks the fortieth anniversary of my first day as a full-time educator. The two-year stint, in a rural area of central Maine, was far from my finest tour of duty, but it was a start. People there would not remember me fondly, but they may as well know that most of my demons have been cast.
On another note, I have been in touch with my son, regarding the earthquake in P’ohang, South Korea, about two hours drive from his city of Busan. He’s fine, as is his girlfriend. I follow such things with alacrity, however, as any parent would.
I am feeling stirrings of outrage, at the ruling allowing imports of elephant parts from Zimbabwe and Zambia, by trophy hunters. This is too obvious a ploy to let well-connected slaughter tourists have their way. There should be no more pretense that this helps conserve species.
Then, there is the “accidental” spill of thousands of gallons of crude oil, from the Keystone Pipeline, in northeastern South Dakota. Wow, who saw that coming?
Both parties, and all points on the political spectrum, have personages who have abused women; no surprise here either. Ego knows no ideology. At least, a few people, Sen. Franken and Louis CK, are willing to take their lickings. Many more, myself included, have had to undergo a considerable measure of emotional growth, in this regard. In my case, it’s been a very lengthy process, though I have not, once, forced my attentions on anyone or sought to avoid responsibility for making anyone uncomfortable. We have made some progress as a society, but not treating people as objects is an area of several segments and one in which each of us must take a measure of responsibility-whether it means changing our attitudes, or encouraging others to change theirs.
So, it’s been a full day, of wide-ranging stirrings in my psyche.
November 13, 2017, Prescott-
(The idea behind last Saturday night’s Dream Gathering was to generate somnolent energy, in one small space. It’s not certain just how much this happened, but here are some dream-thoughts, that came my way, in a quiet Ceramics Dome, a little ways from the disrupted gathering.)
Kathryn Heaton,
a child of eight,
somehow lost
on the way
to the home
in which you’d
lived,
since age three.
You had never
seen me before,
but took my hand.
My GPS memory
led us to
your grandmother’s house.
At the walkway,
a teen she-wolf
stood and told me
not to trust you.
The snarling girl
had issues with you,
who was half her age.
I turned towards
the front door,
and you were gone.
Having slipped past,
and gone- somewhere.
I followed the werepup,
down a gypsum trail.
My shoes had disappeared.
As I recalled,
where I had left them,
a fifteen year-old,
another girl I had been
helping,
confronted me,
saying that my advice
was bogus.
She was with her
new boyfriend,
who said he knew
which way she should
turn.
I told her,
“You will find your own right.”
Have you found right,
and peace,
Kathryn Heaton?
(All characters in this piece are fictional.)
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